C h o o i t i n g

Damage done

2012-02-06T15:01:00.001+08:00

I don't know how long it will be, but I know the damage is done. This time, I don't even feel like talking bout it so don't bother to ask. The hidden doubt has arise I can't pretend it is not and that the trust is incomplete. How are we going to see thru each others eye with these feeling?

If being with me change you to the point that you don't like yourself anymore then leave me.

Update!

2012-01-29T00:44:00.018+08:00

yes it's me! i'm back from my intern + CNY + holiday and everything.
my blog used to be some where i post about my emoness! But this stupid intern do not sharpen my language and writing, i need to practice it somewhere else.
i know you wont come to me and point out my grammar mistake but at least i'm able realize one day and practice a writing habit *typing*
In between my last post and my current post, that's alot things happened.
went to few places, enjoy my life as a student, daughter, friend and girlfriend!

First of all, Happy CNY! wishing you a prosperity dragon year!
many loves from Lee's family!

In this new year i hope everything goes well and better especially on study, relationship between family, friend and him! I really enjoy this new year alot! meeting up with friends like evelyn and mei sin! having fun with relatives. Guess i did enjoy my last sem break for my Uni life.

anything after this will be related to working and we dont get many days for holiday during festive season!

No,no! i dont really wants to remind all of you about this! = (

In between, went to few places within Malaysia! Even though i missed up New Zealand due to stupid internship program,

Golden Palm!

the lobby waiting place. *pretend to be in abu dhabi*

from my phone and reminiscing the waves!

super jeang day

i really like this place! i mean like who dont like it? tot the sea is not crystal clear like maldives but it is still beautiful place for you to pay a visit! it's located at sepang nearby KL, cant give u an exact location for the reason i'm buta jalan. personally think it is too expensive for student. luckily brother get free rooms for it or else i dont think i'm able to afford it! everything there makes u relax except the price, the gym room, chalet, swimming pool. i dint take many picture from my phone because most of them taken by my sis! *lazygoherprofilestealpic*

Also went to Penang for one night two days! enjoy the hotel very much!

G-HOTEL.
awkward alphabet! yes i know i'm dirty.

Lobby for G-hotel!

the awesome swimming pool from our room!

He looks like a kid! i'm officially still the fei poh!

Happy Family!

praying for a better result

Chinese Zodiac

dint take many picture too, it is normal when u have a sis who keep taking picture everywhere.
not a special place but u know i enjoy travelling so much! i dont care the place as long as i'm able to fully appreciate them!

throughout the years, when i'm sad, happy, boring, annoyed, PMS, tantrum i'm glad these peoples are always here with me. you people knows how much i love to talk about anything and everything. there is always to good have a pair of ear listening to your rant and talk it with you!

Friends! i dont think i have many friends, look at my phone and all are them!

Nom Nom, fat together

many of you knows that i hate kids, well not really hate but dislike it to the max when they start crying shouting for no reason.
i know i've been like them before but no i cant accept them for my age.
the evil me hopes that i can make them all hate me so that i dont need to take care them when my sibling seek me for help!

one thing good about them is they willingly camwhore with you except the boy!

Kids! i make them look cute but honestly they are not at all!

For me, when i dont have the money to travel and rotting at home.

i will always try out new recipe. i enjoy cooking thou we all know i enjoy eating too.

just too bad i never think of being a chef, or else i think i will be more successful than what i'm doing now. *exaggerating*.

i just think that cooking allows me to work without stress, i dont cook for that sake of compliment. i enjoy doing it slowly, waiting the dough to rise, decorating, melting chocolate! the outcome make you feel satisfy for the time and patience.

The time when all u want to do is bake!

from stranger to friends and today, we've been through argument, misunderstanding, breakup and so on. one year isnt long but isnt short either! more than 365 days, 31,556,925 seconds together.i dont what future will be but no matter what you will always take a place inside my heart. aww *i'm so not me!*

Sweet,Surprise,Lovely Gift from him!

draw eyeliner! omo, my new breakout for the year.

i hope there will be more breakout for me in the coming days!

maybe it is because I care about my family so much

and when it come to friends and family i will always choose family first.

same goes to family and him, i will still choose family first.

wondering is it because this reason i dont really get back the attention from friends.

sometimes i knew they are going somewhere.havingfun.withoutme. i felt neglected.

i dont blame it mainly because i dont really knows how to arrange my own time for one day.

this is like when i'm busy everyone wants to hangout and when i'm free everyone disappear.

so friends, remember i'm still here even i'm not single! give me call when you miss me!

Let's take a break

2011-09-24T02:41:00.001+08:00

Exam is finish and I feel so relieved.
We still never reach the agreement after one year.
Icantstandthatucanactuallyletmecryingalonewithoutanycomfort.
This is our problem, I dont know what u are thinking and I don't know what u care the most so why not we have a break?

A short one.

Maybe later on we might sort things out rather den being this way -the saddening one

I hope u know it's never easy for me to make this decision and I meant it when i say not easy.

Somehow whatever u did was too late to cover this heartbroken heart
I've been hurt and pain and sad just because of you.
You seem like rather to act don't know den come and give me an assurance, cares and love.

So maybe giving a break to each might make us realize what kind of relationship best for us, both of us.

Don't come over and ask me what I want or what I want you to do because u will never get an answer.
Sometime feeling is the most important and yet u hurt nothing but my feelings.
I ain't rock I cannot recover everytime after being hurt so why not we stop this until u stop digging this heart to the limit?

Year 3 sem 1

2011-09-17T08:40:00.001+08:00

Had a big fight with my bf last few days and was emo all over things I hate.
Still I'm never fail in going back to my notes so no worry on me. Just when I tot things come to the end but it is just another starting.
Dilemma on him, result future and so many things but yet I need to handle inter exam and with these pms going together make me worse... With the annoying biological sister that never feel your situation.
I was yelling over her on the phone whereby it can still be heard if there was a 3th floor on my house..
She just never understand me and my situation....
Anyhow I manage to handle it at athe end
Exam doesn't kill me but make me stronger so same goes to all of u who having exam

P/s one burden down!

Dear friends

2011-08-04T04:02:00.003+08:00

For some reason, i miss you
to the one who stay with me until today and to the one who leave me alone.

today, jessica talk to me in fb chat and this is the ever first time we talk after graduate and she is asking me how was everyone and also me.
i told her i'm doing fine and studying where where so on, until she ask these 2 girls in particular
i answer honestly that we are not talking anymore.
guess it's kinda unexpected for her because we used to be so good.
In life there are so many things u never know
if i knew that we are going to be like this
guess, i will rather u never come approach me and i dont start mingle with you
so today i will never have these persons in heart that sometimes make me remind of my past, remind me of the happiness that never belongs to me anymore.

i know i couldnt let go my past but i'm so sure i still can go onward together with my perfectly imperfectly's past.
i know that if i were to keep holding on i will neglected people around me, those who appreciate me more than the past one.
this is a time where i need a shoulder to accompany me and feeling what i'm feeling.

love,
one old friend of yours.

dear diary,

2011-07-05T05:51:00.004+08:00

i dont mean to abandon you, really want to update about life but what else i can write here?
i have everything i need and i'm grateful with it.
thing i dont have i will try to earn it and things i have i will use my full heart to remain it perfectly.
internship was not smooth as expected because some problems came out and i cant help and follow what utar's plan for me.
it's not like the offer is not good but i just think sometimes things really doesnt go what you want.
i want to tell myself not to regret on my own decision because at the time it was what you really wanted.
see, my decision come from my desire maybe it doesnt end up like what i want but you know.
learn to be mature, if you can face your mistake you can face your future.
you only learn when u can see your mistake but perhaps i need more mistake in order to fully learn what life wants to teach me.

when internship make my day blue, final year project comes and knock my door with a big grin on his face.
okay i means the evil one not the handsome smirk one.
i might be quite blur yes i admit most of the time but see see, i know there is time u cannot just act like nothing is happening.
life goes on, no one can really act dumb, maybe you dont care or maybe i care too much
i'm really really really sorry to kent, if anything happen to his result i know i knwo, it must be me to take the responsible because of my selfishness. my utmost sorry to him.
in order to not let ms.intern and mr.fyp to bring me down, i brought in my graduation trip.
these are the country in my list :

New Zealand
Australia
Taiwan
Bali
Phuket
Korean

you see every name on the list make me smile and smile and like cant stop smiling.

of course my first choice will be new zealand, where sheep..... okay actually sheep is the only thing i can think now and green grassland. *trying to google more info.*

ohhhh the one who loves to worry most is here sitting in front of the screen thinking what others problem can happened if there is any possibility i can find 8 persons.

u see can smile also worry, this can directly/indirectly prove that i got no life. the next thing you know i might worry the laptop i'm using will jump out one ghost.

since first choice is new zealand, i think i shall promote abit of this country with pictures.

blogging is boring if there is no picture at all, words need more comprehension as all of u know, ma english not so good, it will be increase the difficulty for people to understand.

HERE WE GO ♪ ♫ ♬ (background music)
come with me there's a world out there that we should see

some more got people held their wedding there leh. *sweet to the max*

PERHAPS LOVE (John Denver)

2011-05-19T05:02:00.002+08:00

Perhaps love is like a resting place, a shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort, it is there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble when you are most alone
The memory of love will bring you home

Perhaps love is like a window, perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer, it wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself and don't know what to do
The memory of love will see you through

Love to some is like a cloud, to some as strong as steel
For some a way of living, for some a way to feel
And some say love is holding on and some say letting go
And some say love is everything, and some say they don't know

Perhaps love is like the ocean, full of conflict, full of pain
Like a fire when it's cold outside, thunder when it rains
If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you

Some say love is holding on and some say letting go
Some say ove is everything and some say they don't know

Perhaps love is like the mountains, full og conflict, full of change
Like a fire when it's cold outside, thunder when it rains
If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you

if the time when i need you most and you are not there.

what kind of love we are having?

if needing each other is not a necessary for you

what kind of love we are having?

if spending time with each other is not a must for you

what kind of love we are having?

if loving each other is so hard

what kind of love we are having?

i hope you know i'm not a typical gf who only sit at home and wait.

i'm pretty sure i dont have a wonderful life like how others do but that doesnt meant i enjoyed doing nothing at home.

to be honest, i'm very young i would love more excitement but not everything from my laptop.

i cant do it! i love the world outside, even it takes me, effort time and money.

i'm not you i dont love doing boring things all the time.

if gaming was or is so important for you, den i would said i truly regret for choosing you.

because, i definitely do not share love with anyone not even games.

to be more precisely, i wouldnt write this if the time u put on games is same as u put on me.

i cant be and will not be okay if this issue keep going even my mouth doesn't tell.

i might not be strong like a cow but i can sure i can survive without you,

i can be like any of my friends, to be independent but i believe needing you will make you more appreciated and that should how a relationship goes on.

someone beside when you need not someone who doesnt even bother to care.

sometimes, i do feel like i'm mumbling too much on you but only realize you dont even listen what i've said.

i hope you know,

the moment i stop caring is the moment i dont want you anymore.

i never hope our problem extend to there.

what is life now?

2011-04-16T00:16:00.002+08:00

it's been awhile or to be more exact 1month and 4 days after japan biggest disaster happened.
earthquake hit Japan at 11 march, the death doll is still increasing day by day.
sometimes, some people buy insurance some even make sure they have the best in their home, their partner, their future generation but the best isnt mean the strongest.
the earthquake who following with tsunami have make millions of them lost their home.
home, where peace usually belongs, where a place that protect you, where love never ignores you.
how horrible that could lead you to a depress, when after a big flood, your family gone, asset gone and for some a home they fight for one whole life gone as well.
after quake and tsunami done with their visit, it comes the next big visitor, the nuclear plant.
after all this damage from God, human made some with the not working backup system.
Moral of the story : if you are going to do something dangerous make sure u know how to protect urself before it harm others.

his age is 102 this year, what makes him to kill himself is the fact that his home, the place where he stay for almost all his life is one of the place expose to radiation and the place is no longer suitable for home.

credit : Man, 102, 'kills self over nuclear evacuation plan, Straits Times.

a dog was rescued after found floating at some roof top

what makes those reporter take a picture of dogs being save? if the reporter there willing to give up their job and be one of the rescuer i think they will more survivor but again who am i to talk about it, i never once do something like that in my life, but i always think if i could i will try to do at least something meaningful so my life could be a lil meaningful than the rest, but the courage of my life doesn't enough for me to break a student's culture,
credit : Dog rescued after quake going back to its owner

in one day, whatever effort you put became nothing

if this is your country, if this is where you actually belongs, will u still make fun of it? will u still say they deserve it? i'm not clear with story behind the nuclear plant but whatever i saw now is really disheartening to add more crap.

Pictures of Before and After of Japan quake and tsunami

Houses swallowed by tsunami waves burn in Natori, Miyagi Prefecture (state) after Japan was struck by a strong earthquake off its northeastern coast Friday, March 11. (Kyodo News/Associated )
Massive Earthquake hits Japan.Press)

it's not easy Japan to go through it since Japan is already a heavy debt country, how it is going afford to debt more to rebuild this wonderful country?
for you it might just a sudden disaster happen million miles away but the after affect is more than u can imagine, the economy, the food, the same human as us.
life make us stronger but not strongest.
natural disaster could kill many of us without any hints,
life could be fragile almost like a person kills an ant.
what are we hoping for?
for some of my friends said they will be partying hard till the end of 2012 since we will be graduating at mid of the year.
the reason because they dont want to waste their life working right after graduate if they are going to die at the very same year.

In this one month duration, i've been coughing like a mad woman and still coughing.
family members 80% kena the same virus.
are we too fragile now or the virus, bacteria are being to strong?
2 kids are admitted in hospital and one of them admitted twice a month.
i was there today, to witness how hard to be parents.
it's so pain when u see the needle put in a lil small hand.
the small palm who couldnt hold all yours.
the neighbor ward says: "it's feel like the needles was being injected in to ur hand with ten times pain
but u know that's all u can do to ur child, this is what i told myself when i saw my daughter had the same thing."

doubt is being repeating in mind, what is life now?
if all those hurt is a part of my life. yes, i accept it.
but at least let me know whatever i'm taking now is what i deserve, i dont want to see after all the pain we get the ending will be no gain.
one tsunami, or one quake, my life. nothing left.

i love CNY

2011-02-02T04:10:00.000+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR

i think i love this year CNY cos this year my mum is so nice that she willing to make cookies with me.
i dont love to play alone. XD
somehow we manage to save alot money because ppl usually need to send back gift right?
so annoying, send here send there.
but that's the culture right?
to remind each other, the caring that we never forget, to our old friends, far relatives and so on.

i dont know why, i give a very high expectation to this year.
i really expect something difference to me and things surround me.
hope whatever i think will come true,
this year is going to be a good year for me.
all i need for this year is MONEY and BETTER RESULT
am i too greedy? i dont think so leh, cos this is what everyone wants also ma.
i'm so glad safety campaign is over, no more busy, not that i spend most of time at there.
it's just that u hope everything to be done.
u dont want things to drag too long right?
that's me. it's somehow an happy ending ma, that's what i hope.

i think la, i hope things to be fair and square.
everyone idea can be use, to have mutual understanding ma.
i learnt something in this event,
there are so many kind of ppl in this world,
some they hold their mindset so strong that whatever u said doesnt effect them.
some they just love negotiate with you
some you thought they were nice but actually not that nice
haha, if u get what i mean, but working with half of the committee who are younger than me is good,
cos i usually dont know how to communicate with junior,
now i know, i have to learn to listen more instead of talk more

like fern said the generation start from 1992 is very annoying.
true very true cos i hate annoying kids.
luckily this time i guess less 1992.
the generation that could kill me by just talking with me.
lee chooi ting is pawned by kids from 1992.
XD

after all, thanks for teaching me new stuff, like painting color,
that my arts HAS "no creativity" and colors blind, that people has really WEIRD taste.
that people can work VERY FAST and some can work like there is no tomorrow.
some teach me that the journey back to kampar from ipoh could take her life and more more more more.
HEHE, no offense if any get to see this.

be happy = )
and again, HAPPY NEW YEAR <3

holiday

2011-01-03T18:09:00.003+08:00

i dont usually blog during holiday but i'm seriously very blog and this is nt an informative blog or what
just another place for me to release my boringness.
i'm in the garden, drinking lemonade, having the wind slap on me again and again but it's so nice, shivering feels good.
i try to make it a blog for new year.
so that means first i have to say

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MUM <3
it's 21 years she is with all my life.
i'm so thankful for having you in my life, without you there is no me, no us.
so i love you.

since i'm no longer a clubbing kaki, i make myself stay at home with my phoneless situation.
sound so lonely, and full of no suprise new year.
not exactly, me and my sister plan to make a home party for my mum,
it's just for my mum with all the masak masak we prepared 2 days ago,
no blast music, no dancer no alcohol
just something parents will enjoy more and prefer more.

~~i'll show the pictures later, because it's taken by dslr and the noob me doesnt know how to take the memory card out.~~

more cheese to go but too bad my mum dont like cheese

garlic all over in oven. nom nom nom

cream soup from Ms. Lee Shuai Sin

lamp chop FTW so yummy that i cant stop eating

the "process of" with prego tomato sauce planta salt and things might get u food poisoning

nomnomnom.

food is love love is food.

the new year going to be boring like usual or there will be new sparks here?

i always doubt my ability in decision making, confuse whether whatever i choose will be good or bad and can i bare with the consequences?

and i hate it too because it shows like i have no confidence in myself.

it's nt me it's i dont have confidence on you.

i was so clear with what i want until you come and confuse, at the end, u still never know what i want : (

always and always

2010-12-13T06:06:00.000+08:00

i think i love to blog during exam time.
exam time, midnight, alone, emo me, emo song and that's all i neeed for me to do a post.
easy.
somehow this hour, i wish my phone will ring, my msn will blink
someone will talk to me, i mean human of course.
i heard the wind blowing strongly outside
it's should convince u to sleep but i usually dun sleep at this weather even i'm the one who will always said
"such a nice weather we should just go have a nap first : ) "
but no no, i will always stay up enjoy the weather by just seeing how cold it will be, how sunny it will be, how windy it will be.
weird right? but it's just MY way to enjoy the weather.
this moment i'm thinking cameron, the boh tea garden?
with all the green color tea leaves and white cloud blue sky. *cooling*
to be honest, i'm not very happy these few days,
arguing with him, make me doubt and doubt and doubt,
it's always ring a bell in my mind telling me, i should find a solution for it.
but then, i really dont know how, someone people let me learn about myself that i will never learn from mistakes.
maybe it's true that is why i always stuck at the same problem again and again and again.
then i realize others than him what else make me like u know upset/emo is
i've been nt talking that much anymore, it's like no more the blabbering chooi ting.
not that i dont do it anymore, it's just peoples around dont really let me do it,
whenever i talk, they make me feel like not talking anymore
maybe i'm too boring for them to listen
sometimes, listening can help me alot u know? from everything but you just dont listen.
that's maybe the easiest way for you to do for me but.....
then, it makes me think back the old times,
so simple yet so happy thought some peoples around are just fake, like usual.
but i still get to talk, do things i love to do, talk whatever i like to talk. -without using my brain.
i've tried using ways to communicate with you, i try to let you know whatever i'm thinking even u dun listen to words i said.
sometimes, i'm just tired of trying.
it's not like i never tell u this blog exist, but... again.
there are disappointment, the good of me will try to cover it for you
the bad one will keep point out all the doubt i've hide.
this is seriously not a post that i want to hide from you, i would like you to read and know what am i thinking
but we know, it's hard, very hard.
even it's just 2 clicks for your browser? ouh, maybe facing the screen hurt your eyes.
*rolled eyes for the nth times*
well, actually i dont consider myself emo now,
more like geram, mad?
erhhh, I DONT KNOWWW *pout*
maybe i'm just trying to say whatever i dint get to say before some people did smtg that shut me up?
aww. idunnowhatamitalkinganymore.

i will try to treat you better, no proceed is bad. sticking at the same thing is bad, so i think that might be the only solution, i know i dont really how to treat ppl nicely so i try! but whatever i try failed means "boom".
it;s either u fixed it with ACTION or we will just let everything back to the starting point.

*puas hati with all blabbering*

embrace life

2010-11-08T03:01:00.000+08:00

it is soo saddening when you heard it. the heavy feeling inside doesnt make anything goes better
we have a life, full with chances only u can hold it and decide what to do with it
we dont go over others life and tell them what they need to do

it's like nearer and nearer,
i'm afraid of death, afraid of people i love leave me alone.
the fear is unbearable.

embrace life for you and also people around you.
it will be the same if someone you love never be there anymore.

life sucks but the content inside is what make us worth living.
dont be selfish please.

2010-10-19T18:39:00.000+08:00

listening When I need You- Leo Sayer

if searching the one you love could take you a life time why do people still search for it?
if loving someone feels so good why do heartbroken constantly happen?
they say love is just so simple, is it? why?

sometimes we are just lost in whatever around us,
in hate and in love
too fascinate or maybe too addictive
when love, people smile so simple, just happy because sadness cover everything
when love, people hurt and pain, they let all the happiness in lifetime wash away in a second

if it's fate that lead us together will fate tell me what's going next?

love is just so undefinable

just like you and me.

fear

2010-10-16T02:41:00.001+08:00

when i was young, people around me told me that u have to study hard in academy.
believe it anot? i really dunno what so important about study.
it's seem like a curse for me the information i get when i was young telling me how important are them make me believe oh-study-is-so-fucking-important

"do u know my result is out?"

"really? so how was it?"

"nah not so good and it's a disappointment"

"you fail?"

"nope"

"then?"

"i just dint get what i want and it's so burdening"

"study harder than"

"i did"

maybe study hard still not enough i have to study extra harderrrr.
haih
can u just take exam away from my life? i know i'm being ridiculous again. sigghh

i feel like my future is like the sand,

i never get to hold them firmly because i dont really know what i want

my dreams are all over the world

because : )

i want my footprint to be at every place in the world.

Africa

i wanna rawr with them but i hope the wont eat, apparently i think i'm eatable for them.

with all the meats and fats XD

Namibia

dont you think the golden brown is just soo belongs to this place?

or just measure the height for these lovely giraffes.

India

i always told people the first country i would love to backpack is India.

why?

because i love the colors in their country

they have this deep culture that the care most in their life.

what is culture?

yea, technology is your culture now.

according to the photographer

it's taken in taj mahal.

well this place

the name goes to Michigan

famous with lakes, this doesnt look like lake, dont you think so?

Nigaria, Canada

i heard the say if yo're lucky u will have rainbow surround you.

how fairy tale that will be if you're with beloved.

Peru

Machu Pichu

i'm always think this place is amazing just the way they are.

with the mystery hidden behind.

Maldives

breathtaking place that you never wanna miss out if u are planning for a honeymoon.

dont you think this is just the place for couple?

Bora Bora

having hard time? stress? there is nothing left in this world? depression?

awww, everything will just disappear when u see there are sooo many nice places in the world

example,

i know i know i'm so scare of tortoise but sea turtles are just too adorable

they look so blur that i wanna keep one as pet : )

Egypt

even we are going to talk about mystery,

egypt will never fail to hit your curiosity

the place where curses sound just not scary for me.

Paris

cute waitress, coffee and tea?

Korea

the only teddy museum in the world.

can i just take one set home? awww i'm so not greedy

Japan

a big ocean view with hot springs for vacation.

the next best thing in life.

thinking

2010-09-14T03:54:00.001+08:00

exam time again.
another 10hours more i will be taking my first paper for this sem.
seriously, i dont feel nervous this time maybe because i'm kinda fed up with the stress i had for the previous sems
or maybe i'm just tired.
anddd i take my limited time to read blog instead of studying and trying to understand,

life is changing and i really dont know is good or bad.
but life should be always changing right?
i dont know what kind of life i will be leading in the future
but i always remind myself.
embrace every moment u have.
chances are from you yourself and people around you.
you dont hold it now it might disappear the next second.
never take people as granted, i tried before that's why i know the concequences for doing it.
i've been thinking why people afraid of changing?
afraid of trying new things
afraid of taking new opportunities
afraid of their mistake
afraid of meeting strange new ridiculous experience

i try to learn from mistake, i really do
because i dont want the same mistake repeating,
i dont want people who's care feel disappointed
i dont want people who's love feel isolated,

i remember when i was in secondary, our sejarah text book quoted something like this

"History should never be erased"
“It tells you how we move along in life and how we became what we are today"

if i forgetten my past i will never know what am i today.
i know i'm not a fawless person and i'm good with it.

i'm not going to say i'm a bird without leg
sorry i dont have wings, i dont fly i stand on the floor most of my time and sleep on bed all the time.
that doesnt mean i dint use my brain.
sometimes i wonder why my brain think sooo much.
are all girls do so?
are all girls constantly worrying?
if u hear me, i hope u know, i always thinking about what our tomorrow will be,
i dont see future but i imagine them
i'm worry
i'm scare
i'm in doubt

Is everything going smooth or everything just my illusion?

i will try to accept or push away things i dont like but i will never change what you are,
the problem is i dunno how many acceptance i can take and how many i cant.

the spark is here but how long it can stay? can u answer me? because i couldnt..

好久不見

2010-08-28T18:00:00.002+08:00

to dear friends, the lyric say all.

like usual KAMPAR SUCKS

2010-08-22T00:18:00.000+08:00

u know what? yes today kampar will be no electric for liek 4 hours?
MYYY BUDDHAAA, why the hell they wanna make it at midnight?
something wrong with their brain or what?
midnight no light no fans no wind, kampar you really sucks alot.
why the hell have to be in midnight leh? ISHH ISHHH ISHHH ISHHHH ISHHHH
sometimes not that i wanna complain and be hater but really this is somehow ridiculous.
but nahh, i have succesfully escape back to ipoh.
erm, not really my home but someone's else and the name goes to mr.chan

life suckss, really life sucks but i like.
seeing those fb post about no electric in kampar is VERY ENTERTAINING.
they make laugh alot. XD
sorry to be mean but really okay i'm mean. XD

they say the desertification of the planet reflect the desertification of human spirit
it's so obvious i dun have this so called human spirit inside.
whatever it is, i hope everyone has a happy day at kampar <3

LOVE IS EVERYWHERE.

2010-08-19T04:18:00.001+08:00

They say promises are meant to broken.
There are times i try to deny this fact to people who insist it.
It was me who are too naive or it was me trusted too much?
Maybe they are right? They are no forever promise.
Things change when uncertainties and obstacles come.
I'm just too stubborn to accept the fact. It's time to come back from my own little world.
The world are suppose to be realistic and yes, i did think too much.
~~Like i have told ming rui, instead being dilemma i rather make decision.~~
~~There is no in between is either yes or no. To make decision is not hard to forgo what the opportunity cost is hard. I'm so ng seh dak.~~
~~The last thing i want to see is this. The reason i hold back is to avoid this yet what wants to come will still come.~~
i know i just cant do it.

thanks for worrying

2010-08-11T01:38:00.001+08:00

dear mum,
i really love you and after what had happened today,
i realised and i guess i understand why i'm always the one you worry the most,
because
i'm really blur, blur until word couldnt desribe,
if i were her, i will lock myself in room too.
okay, i think i will try to be extra careful next time, for you for people who worry.
so please dont lock me in my room.
i need nothing others than freedom.
_____________________________________________________________

i <3 today
remind me of people i dont want to remind but no, this time it bring a smiley face.
not emo, not friends but the culture.
thanks for sharing. i really appreciate it.

there are so much more i wanted to say but
i dint get the right way to say

you are __________.

2010-08-06T17:54:00.006+08:00

Dear you, who's reading this letter

Where are you and what are you doing?

For my 15 year old self, There are seeds of worries

i can't tell anyone

If I wrote a letter addressed to my future self

Surely I can confide truly to myself

Now, it seems I'm going to be defeated and cry

For someone who's seemingly about to disappear

Whose words should I believe in?

This one-and-only heart of mine

Has been broken so many times

But in the midst of the pain, I live in the present

I live in the present

Dear you, thank you

I have something I have something to tell the 15-year-old you

If you continue asking what and where you should be going

You'll be able to see the answer

The rough seas of youth may be tough

But row your boat of dreams on

Towards the shores of tomorrow

Now, please don't be defeated and please don't shed a tear

During these times when you're seemingly about to disappear

Just believe in your own voice

For me as an adult , there are sleepless nights when I'm hurt

But I'm living in the bittersweet present

There's meaning to everything in life

So build your dreams without fear

Keep on believing

Seems like I'm about to be defeated and cry

For someone who's seemingly about to disappear

Who's words should I believe in?

Ah, please don't be defeated, please don't shed a tear

During these times when you're seemingly about to disappear

You should believe in your own voice

No matter era we're in

There's no running away from sorrow

So show your smile and go on living in the present

Go on living in the present

Dear you, who's reading this letter

I wish you happiness

out of sight out of mind

2010-08-04T23:00:00.001+08:00

why have to remind everything when i try hard to pack in together and throw it far far far far far x1000 away?
the pain was deep the pain was lonely the pain was unbearable.
i have it enough and i dont ever want it again.
it's hard to put things down but eventually i did.
sometold me, take it out and wait for karma what they did to you they will get it back one day.
and i told him, i dont want karma to be on them.
i never want them to be like me.

i just hope my mind wouldnt flash back these all memory when i'm alone
it's just too moody for me, no , i dont need anymore of this.
enough is enough
go away means go away,
i have a better life to lead, better people going to appear.
dont haunt me more. dont open my scar and put on salt and vineger.

2010-08-01T02:11:00.003+08:00

dear blog,
i dont mean to abandoned you
i wanted you to be a part of my life and my life now is all about assignment.
i dun wan you to be tainted by assignment.

so now, i'm back to here because apparently i choose you over assignment and midterm.
not that you dont know, i always love you more than them.
what kind of life i'm having?
fantastic? wonderful? colorful?
ha, sounds so self comforting eh.
i know i know.

there are so many drama out there now
but like usualy i dont get to watch all of them
eclipse, despicable me and so on so on.

OH YA, dear blog it has been awhile i din change ur outskin.
you must be bored with you outlook now.
i'll promised you, we shall look for a new skin now.
i'm getting really boring , because i'm spending my weekend at kampar.
you know how i feel right? yea, it's worse than being dumped at sahara.
at least sahara desert will be a nice first try than kampar.
u know what? i think i'm starting to go out of track.
i wish westlake stop blackout at early morning, because i cant stand completely dark room.
*yeaiknowit'sjustsoYERtoscaredark*
~~it's shame to hugging ur bolster outside the house alone at early morning.~~
but what to do, i just dont feel good to stay at home.

since everyone is talking about the past car park's issue,
i shall share some happening in utar.
it's just my 2cents, nothing much actually i just wanna crap smtg here.

why students in utar love to complain?
oh because they grow smarter and dumber
i really like those who complaint without their brain, because the only they success to do is bring up the issue.
not like we ever have enough car park in utar. it's just people dint bring up the issue so the management dint bother to care for us.
yeaa, that's all they can do, JUST BRING UP THE ISSUE AND BISING BISING EVERYDAY.
nothing else. but atleast everyone aware with it.
student who get smart goes and complain to outsider since insider doesnt bother them
and the newspapear, so caller outsider come and demand for a respond.
see, difference of smart and stupid.
and now utar promise to give us another 300 car park.
OI, 300 MANA CUKUP?
dun be greedy, u have to be grateful lah what else u expect from a so called environment-friendly-uni wor?

AHA, i dun get it? why they called utar environment friendly?
build build build but we still have 8 pm classs
build build build but we still facing car park problems
build build build but still sini leak sana bocor
the recent one bees flying everywhere and students were in danger.

ohh because they have "trees" everywhere?
come on lah, these small plants doesnt help at all, can shade human? can shade car?
can give more oxygen meh?
some even dying because too dry.
i like someone who post it in fb,
"u complain utar no carpark, negotiate lah, do something point out the problems, u complain the car park at eastlake too expensive? negotiate lah, demand for some changes"
even you might fail to get what you want, at least you stand up say something and show them their problems.
for those who anti utar anti ini itu. come on lah. waste time aje.
src in utar might not really have enough "attention from everyone"
but atleast they try before to get what students want, they fail not they din do thing it's just management up there doesnt allowed.
i dont have car but i have friends who fetch me to campus everyday.
thanks god, without him i'll be skipping class everyday because i hate sweating under the super big sun in kampar.

that's all for my so called "bising" but afterall i have already accepted the fact.

p/s : i'm not yours you are not mine

i'm done of being stupid

2010-07-10T14:25:00.001+08:00

seriously, i think i'm real stupid now.
holding on with some stupid reasons
getting mad alone
care alone
hating alone
worrying alone
everything alone doesnt make things fun

who are you to me?
who are you to me?
who?

basically you are and were nothing.
so why do i care so much?
dont forget i have my ego too
i have my limits too
i have my patient level too
if u ever use ur brain and think i have already show down more than you expect.
so i'm going to put a full stop at here.

stop getting mad alone.
stop everything alone that cause by others.
being alone for ownself is good, is aprreciative enough but when it was for someone else.
it's stupid!

one is better than two.

when everything terbalik

2010-07-04T01:13:00.003+08:00

GO GO GO! GERMANY WINS ARGENTINA BY 4:0

germany is not LUCKY only, they win with skill with hardwork.
brazil out argentina out. who will be the champion?
ehh, i support german all the way to the end.
oleh oleh oleh~ <3<3<3

sometimes you just dont care right?
i always keep this in my heart,

"If you really love something set it free. If it comes back it’s yours, if not it wasn’t meant to be"

i just dont love to force sometimes and that's why i dont love to hold things strong
it's like everything can be so fragile, who knows maybe things can be fragile until once you touch they will be broken in pieces and pieces all you can do is trying to make every pieces back in shape, but we all knows they will still left scars.
i'm a very protective person and people do expect me to be strong like a cow, but sorry to say
i wish i am but sometimes you're not means you're not.
why try so hard.
after days,months years, finally i get it
cry when you wanna cry
smile when you wanna smile
laugh when you wanna laugh
i will cry more smile more laugh more.
why limit your emotion for something doesnt worth it.

sometimes cant blame me for being too realistic
i'm just fed up for things i was once holding very strong
maybe you will say i'm holding not strong enough
but you're not me, you wouldnt know how hard it is to go through it ALONE.

i dont need to be the most important person ever
dont need to be the most cheerful person ever,
dont need to be the most friendly person ever,
dont need to be the richest person ever

i think i just dont need you in my mind anymore.

there is no more cont episode right? then what's the point of waiting?

You’re my heart, say goodbye-Haru Haru, Big Bang

2010-06-25T04:02:00.000+08:00

so much of drama for this sem.
but for me who love updates somehow means good.
both are friends, so i dont plan to vote for any in SRC, being neutral.
ehem.
this is like week4 and i still havent touch any assignment, was busy before this.
i'm thinking, how to start a better chapter, can u like, teach me?
BIG SIGH

i'm repeating everything.
there are something i though i would blog bout,
but when i login blogger start to type.
things gone. mind blank.

ouh, was reading a book "glance".

Quote by 倉央嘉措,
那一天
我閉目在經殿的香霧中
驀然聽見
你誦經的真言。

那一月
我搖動所有的經筒
不為超度
只為觸摸你的指尖

那一年
我磕長頭在山路
不為覲見
只為貼著你的溫暖

那一世
我轉山轉水轉佛塔
不為修来世
只為途中與你相見

okay, sentimental anot, i dont know
lan gam seng anot i dont know.
i just thought that this sounds special and i like it.
that's all.

this few days, some of my friends are having problem
and for me conclusion is

the right person comes at the wrong time.
too late or too early,
they are just not right,
they are not mean together.

maybe what i quoted there related to them, or me myself.

I Want To Know What Love Is- Mariah Carey

I'm not emo just in a bad mood.

I HATE RESULT!

2010-05-31T17:03:00.003+08:00

Year1 Sem3 was the worst sem for lee chooi ting,
so tell me how am i going to come out from this sem?
phobia dahh, i have to learn the consequences of being reckless.
and noww, have to learn how to go class everyday how to ++ my concentration.

STOP SLEEPING FOR CLASSES!

2010-05-23T04:06:00.002+08:00

burn burn burn.

awww, ice breaking test game was fun, can say that we lost control.
but atleast committee, faci and helpers have fun.
i love seeing people smiling all the way under the sun/rain
we look healthy. we are breathing with fun <3
and sun burn is not good with all wet.

but

i love water games XD

------------------------------------------

i think my mouth shud have some limit dah, trying to speak less listen more.

ehem, that is the reason why we have one mouth and 2 ears, right?

my word is not powerful but maybe, maybe the way i present might brings out different meaning.

susah mau jadi orang lah.

talk less macam nerd talk more macam orang gila.

when problem occured and i have no way to solve it, lee chooi ting will keep staying in her own world.
after all, i still have to carry on and throw away everything for my life.
no more emo, no more them, him ,her.

why carry on without me? -Everytime, Britney Spears.

When i need you

2010-05-21T01:53:00.003+08:00

When I need you

I just close my eyes and I'm with you

And all that I so wanna give you

It's only a heartbeat away

When I need love

I hold out my hands and I touch love

I never knew there was so much love

Keeping me warm night and day

Miles and miles of empty space in between us

The telephone can't take the place of your smile

But you know I won't be travelin' forever

It's cold out but hold out and do I like I do

When I need you

I just close my eyes and I'm with you

And all that I so wanna give you babe

It's only a heartbeat away

It's not easy when the road is your driver

Honey that's a heavy load that we bear

But you know I won't be traveling a lifetime

It's cold out but hold out and do like I do

Oh, I need you

When I need love

I hold out my hands and I touch love

I never knew there was so much love

Keeping me warm night and day

When I need you

Just close my eyes

And you're right here by my side

Keeping me warm night and day

I just hold out my hands

I just hold out my hand

And I'm with you darlin'

Yes, I'm with you darlin'

All I wanna give you

It's only a heartbeat away

I need you darling

2010-05-17T05:43:00.003+08:00

Do i deserve it? If yes, bring it on because I'm used to it.
If it's not then please think as if you are in my shoes.
I'm not there anymore without your realize.
I might sound like every typical emos but what else you expect me?
I'm already take it alone all the time i dont mind take it longer.
I dint expect help from anyone.
Not even you because i know you wont even i try to convince myself you will at least be by my side.
Life sucks but you guess what?
No matter how suck it is i still went through.

2010-05-15T15:40:00.001+08:00

If time can spin back

i will study harder

i will eat lesser

i will keep my hair longer

i will jog more

i will smile more

i will laugh more

i will be out going more

i will social more

i will talk less

i will cry less

i will love more

i will trust more

i will play harder.

i will travel more

what else can i do? i was suppose to sleep 24 hours since exam not longer with me.

family has trigger the feeling deep inside, they are annoying funny caring and everything.

are u going to be here with me for everything? no, you will not and i'm not going to let you.

yea, chooi ting is irascible like always.

oh, i'm jealousss my sister went to taiwan last week and the pictures tell she gained some really memorable memory. <3<3

what a nice view right? i will love to sleep there everyday

i told her i dont believe she took this picture because it just doesnt suit her.

i dont know where this place but isnt the street just too nice like the culture?

louis vuitton is everywhere now.

bring me there too!

awww, i dont know where they called but there are super cute, she bought one for me too

will take when i reach home later.

if you were me, you will jealous too and because of this sem break, i have forgo all the chances to travel oversea.

i tell myself : eh, you are still young, more chances coming~

my my my graduation trip will be ~~Egypt~~ Greece or maybe India. (2 of lowest budget country to have backpack trip)

and only my parent allowed.

weird place to go right? i know i just wanna see more about their living, not really wanna know more.

aiya, i just love traveling

i want to see their life experience, simply like what they do everyday and their purpose.

throw away luxuries, aircond and meet some new amazing friend that might change my life.

2010-05-12T03:16:00.000+08:00

EXAMMMMM ISSS GOINGGG TO ENDDDD.

and i pray god will lead me to the road of wisdom later.
i'm doing some plans after exam. nothing much.
the best for my life is to sleep enough. enough enough enoughhhhh
just for the sake of rest.
exam is so torturing but i still believes everything is going to end and soon my reward will come to me.
yea, what it is? no no, i dont know i just dont know.
okay, i'm a student without target. OHHH how pathetic am i?
no no, i just dun put high hope on everything and what?
i can have my own life without target, i will rule whatever in my mind without target.
that's me!

2010-04-26T06:42:00.001+08:00

love.time.memory

somehow they are connected.
my time is now for study, study whatever i need to, does it matter for me? honestly, no.
but it does matter for my future.

i wan planning to go jog last few days ago, 7am in morning.
love love love
i love the coldness in morning so peaceful and so loveable.
i love morning but i'm not used to it, put my imagination inside.
i wish i'm in maldives watching sunset with whoever i love
yea, it's so typical but also romantic enough for me.
u know? not everything must be special, follow whatever ue mind wants and u find every simple thing will be the prettiest thing in the world, because it's nice and that's why everyone love it.

you are sooo soo far, when are u going to come back?

these few days, stay at kampar for my days and nights.
i wanna stay in library forever so i can put everything in my brain.
if this suffer will exchange a bettef future, then everyhing will be worrth.
for me, future,family and my dream.<3

goodnight everyone and good morning too.

p/s i think i like you, less than love more than like.

2010-04-02T02:14:00.001+08:00

when everything wasnt mean to be together.

i'm in a good mood just noww, and i'm so damn free so i kacau ming rui but then he ignore me after showing off i'm damn free when he has his assignment with him. XD
sorry lor.

then then then i run back and read back some of my post,

feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelll

stupid

sohai

innocent

awkward

mature

immature

brainless

cute

lovely

but it's me, the lee chooi ting that dint changed much, stubborn and annoying.

you know who u areee, because most of my post u take part. how come?
i dont knoww too but thanks for being there.

i guess is time to get myself back to books, i dont want to fail any subjects because i'm not smart.
being the busybody and straightforward one, i hopeee u all can chasee your dreams.
staying still isnt mean for u all, just like me. LOL
i know my friends arent the normal one, u all have the one of the kind deep inside.

go aheaddddd, love love love from me <3

2010-03-23T01:37:00.029+08:00

There are smtg in the world u tot u have the right to care but at the end u figure out u are no one to care.

Sometimes i learn not to make things to obvious because there are no points doing so,

i care so much but i don want to tell
I love so much but i don want to show
because it's feel so nice to have ur own little secret. i have been in my own little world lately,
if u know everything i feel then it's doesnt matter tell or not telling.
and i'm tired about everything, figure me out, will you?

it's been a while i really blog and write.
seriously i dont know what to write.
i get boring with my life here but at the same time i know it's the best.
done with interview for comitte and now i'm here waiting for result.
if it's possible, tell me what my mind is thinking, i couldnt catch up with the randomness inside.
not that i'm really random person.
i just dont know what is happening in my brain.

tell u a secret, if i wanna love, it's gonna in a way like water.
water apa? shhh, i'm not gonna tell. it's some secret words.

if u are going hurt me,

please and please,

give me a hint so that i wouldnt be that pain

2010-03-18T12:07:00.004+08:00

it's being normal that make us outstanding, why?

because everyone wants to be special.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARCH BABIES

2010-03-05T03:11:00.003+08:00

生日快乐

Happy Birthday

Selamat Hari Jadi

생일축하합니다

お誕生日おめでとうございます

இனிய பிறந்த நாள் நல்வாழ்த்துக்கள்

happy birthday to all march babies, some are officially 20 by this month and this year
there are difference between 19 and 20.
think it urself

because

i'm still teenager love

i've been staying awake till very late this few days.
rushing assignment? yes, most of the time .
actually, i dont think i'm a random person but it seems like i'm one because of my weird attitude, habits and thinking.
yesterday, the first time someone in utar successfully annoyed me.
no, not that he did anything that cross my line.
it's just yesterday was one of my oh-today-is-not-a-good-day
seriously, no one success to annoyed me in UTAR.
i mean affect my emotion here. no one.
so he just so "am" say the wrong thing at the wrong time.

i guess my period is coming soon, i cant control myself now.
i'm good and not good telling my own secret.
make it for me. will you?
i'm learning how to appreciate things lil more,
maybe,
maybe because i dont have anything else to lose.
maybe i cant bare with it, so i tried and trying.
maybe i'm walking blindly without knowing what will come to me in the future.
maybe i'm just greedy.
maybe i'm epxecting everyone will treat me well
maybe i'm hoping too much in my imagination.
maybe, that's why i constantly feel disappointed when i dont even know why.

let's the damnnn _______ now. plagiarism right? sorry.

2010-03-04T00:52:00.000+08:00

i just dont like being what u want me to be,

if i wanna change, i will change it in the way i wants.

i'm mad

to you, to others to whoever.

the new member

2010-02-27T17:58:00.002+08:00

so this week my family have a new born member.
i dont know his name and havent see him yet but i guess i like him because he is baby boy. awww, if u dunno my family mostly girls and women.

so having a small bro to let u order around will be good. when i can gett to order him i'm already in lou yeh-time.

yea, who cares. i'm sex discrimination, say it all u wants.

i guess he has some allergy toward some specific foods, and my family is worry, i mean WORRY.

being the i-dont-care in the family i'm the least caring one.

but no one hopes their family in problem, i hope god,buddha,allah pray for him.

you wouldnt wants a baby to suffer.

my sister is going something wrong, my sis-in-law saw her crying while eating her food.

she psycho but guess this is what they called after-giving-born impact. i donno the term so dont ask me.

i tell my mum she is scary and my mum tsk-ed me and said i'm even worse.

WTF, at least i will not cry while eating. i dont think eating is saddening. i love it except when u make me wash the plates.

so being the curious one i try to ask why and she answer with this:

you're the kind like one who will fall to deep ground when u face any obstacles or barriers.

you couldnt face it when u are in deep shit and when u're in one u will be even more psycho den ur sister.

i'm thinking do i look so defenseless? or just for her?

mentally doubting myself, this is new. i never see this coming from my mum and also anyone.
i dont think i look like one. at least i'm so sure some peoples dont think so.

so i hope everything will turn out better.

babi steph left me without showing herself. I HATE HER.

and she dont even reply my last msg, she is a bad person. bad bad bad

2010-02-21T03:45:00.002+08:00

i tot i was going to cry, because i cant figure out my email address. i try and try and try for like billions times.

i spent 2 years on this blog, not so long yet not so short.

how sad if i cant come back and write everything i wanted to write soo much,

sometimes i dont even think blogging can help because my words doesnt really show what my mind is thinking.

my bad because of sucks english.

awww, so i saw someone is back to m'sia and she dint even tell me maybe, maybe she dont even remember me.

HOWWW SAD : ' (

even yin jing knows how to talk to me with one in a time but she dont even bother me lehhh.

.sigh.sigh.sigh,sigh,

i'm gonna sigh untill the leaves all fall down.

actually that's not what i want to sayy.

sometimes i really scare seeing relatives or old friends, u knoww why?

they will keep asking you got bf anot bf bf bf?

aiyar, no bf will die mehh? LOL

so when the moment peoples want to trick ur words mostly are asking about ur special ones

AIYORRR, how many times i need to tell, i still DONT HAVE any special one yet.

i guess my problems always surround with "she" but not the opposite.

yea, again i think there is 59.99% that i'm a lesbian.

i hope i'm not and i dont want to be one too.

HEY HEY HEY, no prejudice okay?

i just dont feel like jek.

CNY is love actually because i see my ang pow income is increasing.

dont compare with those rich families, i'm from average family.

i thought she is trying to tell me something about her

but dint manage to tell because she left to work, so i guess i'm not going to figure out what she was thinking.

and i found out, her gang have so many haters

okay. this is just some old grandma's story just let me spend sometimes bla about it.

2009-12-26T16:55:00.003+08:00

just now my mum came into my room and she saw the pics sticking at my wall.

den there was one picture on my table where we took it at lost world's cave.

she said "the picture is here but the peoples are all gone"

i dont know why but she makes me sad, whoever read this, u shud know u in the picture anot, there were 5 of us.

i'm trying to think our current relation but toooo bad. because, the picture bring sarcasm. u know why? most of us are worse than stranger. HA. funny.

love is in the air~

2009-12-25T01:47:00.005+08:00

love is in the air

birds fly and floating fair

clouds smile from above

kisses flew out of love

love is in the air

scents escape from her hair

twinkling angel eyes

make heartbeats jump twice

love is in her smile

i watch them from the aisle

beams heavenly grace

soul of angelic face

love is in my mind

fantasy of a kind

burning half my soul

the essence of my all

love is in our hearts

when sound of music starts

escaping through the air

and love is everywhere

oh, love is in the air!

by Roland JR Jamito

actually i love christmas but this year christmas is soo not happening for me compare with last year walking all around SG.

but whatever i wish everyone has a merry christmas
when everyone was countdowning for christmas steph and I were inside an old kenari driving whole perak.
from bercham to taman cempaka to ipoh garden to ampang to gunung rapat and back to bercham.

sinceiassumethati'moldforclubbingsoirefusetogobarroomorrumorwhatever.

haih. i know it's boring but it's okayy because i'm adapting so no big deal gua.
then arr, i get to watch this movie at home and it's takes all my fairytale thinking to keep on.

i still wondering how the balloons manage to make a big house float

this story is talkin bout a dream his wife and him wish to do when they were kids.
a short flash about how he knows his wife how they get marry and they keep their life on while keeping the same dream, to adventure at South America untill one day his wife left him to heaven.
A 70years old man start his life alone, waking up alone, eating alone, living alone until one day some problem occured and he has to leave the house where all the memories he had with his wife.
As a toy balloon vendor, he tied thousands of balloon to his home and lift his house off its foundation to float to Paradise Falls so that he can fullfill their "once upon a time" dream. * i know it's impossible to happen* but i think it's soo fun to have ur home floating.
and he start his new adventure with a kid names Russell and bla bla. go watch it urself if u wanna know.

i dont know why but i think alot of us have lost our very own dream. to achieve something more unrealistic.

2009-12-09T17:23:00.006+08:00

i think everyday things will changed.

i guess i fall in love with hot drink, hot one. this is weird because i used to have everything with ice.
my intestine finally stop cramping and because of this i have to drink everything with hot.maybe this is the reason

and i'm sooo sad because the stupid taiwan drama.

i'm thinking alot yet i dunno what i'm thinking aishh

waiting for the new epi come out yet i dont want to chase it like a drama slave.
my mind is full yet so empty.
i'm just crapping much.
Cinderella once said "have u ever feel lonely in a room full with peoples?"
sorry i wasnt in a full room but i still feel some emptiness because starting from now every thing come alongs with exam.
i think i'm kinda weird because i'm enjoy being alone this past months.
alone going out, alone walking around, alone driving, alone watching drama, alone blogging.
my favourite is alone hanging around with nothing in my mind.
because unintentionally there will be alots of things flashing into ur mind.
ALMOST everything. i'm feeling good too.

i'm glad that this sem is not that stress compare to last sem.
but when exams come they will keep remind me that i'm going to miss the fun my family going to have in japan.
i should have a backpack trip alone someday, but i guess i will lost everything by the time i reach there because i'm just good for nothing except forgetting things.
who says forgetful is not good? at least that is an optional based on diff people opinions.

i have so much tooo say but i dunno where to start. BIG SIGH.
life isnt fair but dont ask me to get used with it. HA.
as usual I HATE EXAMS.

for those who finish their STPM, i hate u all too. because u're free but i'm still having my exam week that last for a week.

*stressing*

2009-11-23T16:34:00.001+08:00

i'm watching doraemon now.

going to watch 2012 later

planning to go watch new moon and also Christmas carol.

tell me your little secret and we will share it together,

because every secret have a story hidden behind it.

i want to know every story from the world

into my ears and my sense.

bring me to every part of the world, kay?

the footstep i left will prove me i know the world more.

2009-11-18T04:34:00.002+08:00

"u will never get to see the meteor" says by Lee Chooi Ting

i was hoping that i can really see it. i dont like ppl tell me back,

oh i saw them yesterday night and they are like most beautiful thing u ever see.

forget about the meteor?

NOOOO, one day i will watch them even u want me to stay awake till dawn.

i dont mind, as long as bring them to me.

i'm still willing for it even stars will eventually fade.

because

everything will fade just like them.

u might thought u're holding strong but without notice they were all gone in a second.

i though i loved you but the truth is i never fall in love

2009-11-13T05:02:00.003+08:00

it's 16th November 2009 1.16am

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNTTTTTT

LIKEEEEEEE

YOU

i'm hungry and i dont want to cook any maggie today.

BUTTTT

too bad my purse is only left rm1.

and it's not enough for me to call delivery.

MIND YOU

it's sunday today and i have the freaking bloody test

i might said i dont feel like going home this week but i still HATE test.

why i have to be this poor?
MONEYYY FASTER ALLL COME TO ME!!!

so when i tot miserable day will leave me alone when i decided to go out take money and eat.
but the god doesnt like me today, exactly today when i can feel see sense everything doesnt turn out good.
it's start raining right after i reach outside, holy, i have to be glad not? bcos i'm cycling with ah ma.
and the rain just fall in love with me.

i should be glad and says

OHH THE RAINN LOVE MEEEEEEE

it's suck to have ur sunday at kampar never never never let it happened again.

AISHHH

so many random thought appear in my mind but i forgot it.
i tot i can list out all one day, too bad.
maybe i should have start bring sticky notes along with me,
so i can write down my random thinking.

okay, i know i'm pathetic~

Langkawi. Love

2009-11-09T03:09:00.002+08:00

if i was an alcoholic i will buy all of them with my ptptn money.

too bad i'm not XD

why do i have to looks this pathetic everytime i take alcohol?

mr.ng is there posing as if he is mr.james bond.

Bacardi green apple i dont und why the price have to be this big diff.

i check the price at JJ ipoh

it's like Rm 130 smtg but at langkawi is RM40 with change.

they say it's not worth it to just buy but not drink.

nah, i just like it for display. so how?

he is one friendly uncle that we knew during bat ku teh time.

he's so nice to bring us to geo park. <3

i think, he is hating me for posting this

a random one

Kilim Geoforest Park.

i receive a msg from digi telling me the rate for Thailand.

which mean i'm so near thailand, the sea is seperating us,

so near yet so far.

this suppose to show u an island that look alike with a shoe but i think i'm jus not a good photographer.

random two.

random three.

random four.

i like the fish, he just look alike with chin aik. <3

swim swim swim. they remind me ming rui and his dream.

*our private joke*

i'm hugging the BIGGGGG vase and suddenly i feel small. LOL

Pulau Payar is Loved.

see see i'm there~

learning how to snokler

fish fish fish.

even i dont know how to swim

but

i'm still able to be with them.

can see me? i think the sea water just got into my eyes ><

i'm closing my eyes? why?

just accept the fact i cant open my eyes.

SMILE~

yeahh~

andrew and chooiting.

eh, xia jie or andrew? i cant really see him.

i'm actually showing the peace sign.

good bye, pulau payar, one day i will be back and dive in.

They were sleeping.

i asked

"what will happen if i suddenly screaming oud loud?"

"u wanna try?"

"dunno eh."

according to them, i'm not brave i'm just dirty.

WHYYYY?

actually what i wanna post is the fish.

ystd i watched a programme about fish, the one she holding is one of them

and

it's cute.

yuwei said he is cute and for me he is being a lil too hyper with food.

he says "why so ugly"

i'm thinking "it"s about me noy you"

low quality heineken. dont buy this at penang or langkawi.

this is my first vomit in a boat.

sorry is not my fault because the boat is just being so cha

not only me many of us vomit.

random five.

another 2 more, bee har and may ling.

why do the sea have to be this peace when we know there is tsunami happened few days ago?

pheww pheww pheww

blue blue blue

random six.

this is the car we rent when we reach langkawi, isnt really expensive

but

they are so stingy who only give us 1km petrol to reach petrol station.

we have to ask another car of us to but petrol for the stupid local wira.

a very pathetic story because we wasted half day at there just because of the petrol.

chin aik, andrew and eu yang who filling in the first 2 litre.

eric who finish the process with the last 3 litre.

gosh, i can tell i really hate it because u have to wait at there when every car cross by and look at u like u're sohai.

i feel so sticky tat time and i got no bathroom to go.

one thing good about langkawi, they are duty free.

nice car,nice choco,nice alcohol.

2009-11-05T19:12:00.003+08:00

this morning wasnt a very good morning. have u ever cry in ur dream?

i had nightmare this morning.

that almost make me tear in my dream. i dont know why i always had dream like this.

i saw someone that so close to me leaving me,yes,my mum and dad.

and

IHATEIT.

why do the have to make me feel alone?

In an early morning,to fear that everyday that may have someone beside me leaving me.

fortunately it's a dream. a dream that i never wants to come true.

today watak is him, my long lost pet.

chut chut

peoples who know me long enough will know him as well.

he run away from home when i was form 4 and never came back.

the people who is died will life in the memory who is still alive.

死去的生命是活在生者的记忆

i hate it when my dreams keep bringing me back my memories.

especially those who sad enough that u force urself to forget and never bring back to your reality world.i have enough about these dreams who about my families friends and ur pets.

this following up with my day, i had lost my key, yes, again.
i have to rush for my stupid bills because the deadline is tomorrow when they only let us know yesterday night.
i have another spelling for my japanese language and i havent study yet.
i have 3 tests 1 presentation next week.

u never been an exception when time of the reminicse, somehow i wish u can be.

ean suan says it's not easy to have someone that take an important part in ur heart. if u have, it's not worth to let the friendship dies.

have u ever expect that one day i will say hi to you?

have you ever expect that we may have a small chat about the old times?

season in the sun

2009-10-28T23:57:00.005+08:00

when we were young, we tend to think everything will last forever.

in this month, there are 2 person that watch me grew up have pass away.

after halloween there is another case happened in kampar

i'm sorry if wasnt a very good friend or a caring person but they do irratate me after thing has happened, like they try to do something useless just too show their care

what does this mean for? write an useless msg in his blog, so what? he will review or his soul will go and read it?

what's the point for? and we all know, there are 3 victims!!! THREE, TIGA, SAM and not one.

why do people only keep attention on one? what the other feel? what the other two victim's family and friend feel like? i dont know 3 of the victims but i feel really sad for 3 of them, for their future, their life, their families and friends.

_____________________________________________________________
i wasnt very sad, but u cant say i have no feeling because they leave you without your wants.
and we weren't always been together and sooner or later what we have is just "Hi Bye"
how pathetic when some one who used to play with you everyday and at the end become this kind of friend.
we don't even have much to say, we don't even remember our memory when we were young
and the hardest thing is when u reminisce back u feel terrible bad
u dint spend enough time with them,
u dint show enough caring to them
never tell how much you love them
how much u feel fully thanks for them to make ur day, ur smile, and ur laugh

everyday we do curse, curse like no yesterday, maybe not us maybe only me.
one of the thing that u cant take back is word.
how i wish i can say at least, i miss you to them.
how i wish i can let them know they are important.
how i wish i can say million of thank you

my sister msged me and tell me how hurt he was when he got into the accident.

this song keep repeating in my mind.

We had joy we had fun we had
Seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed were
Just seasons out of time

Goodbye papa please pray for me
I was the black sheep of the family
You tried to teach me right from wrong
Too much wine and too much song
Wonder how I got along

Goodbye papa it s hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
Little children everywhere
When you see them I ll be there

2009-10-12T14:15:00.007+08:00

somehow i kinda admire those who have a creative thinking on writing drawing, painting and everything.

not everyone can do this at least i know i cant do it.
too bad, cos if i have this talent i can picture out everything in my mind to the world.

how i wish sometimes life can simple as cinderella or snow white
u lost a heel and return with a prince, u eat an apple and return with "happy-ever-after"
how can i transform my life to this?
i knoww fairy-tale ending doesnt sound like me since i'm more realistic person
but u never know, maybe one day something happened and ur life at that particular second change dramatically. that is fun. i think i just dream too much.

yesterday i'm looking thru the forum and see anything interesting, and i saw this.

Is It Possible To Have 2 Dimples?
i'm just curious since i have 2 dimples too and these are what others post :-

its possible Because I have 2 dimples on each cheek

i've seen someone who has two dimples,
and in my opinion I think they looked really cute
I think I have one, though I'm not sure if people would still count it as one....
You can't see it unless I smile

Dimples are the meaning of cuteness so:
one dimple = cute
two dimples = double cute

it's me or what? because i don find my dimples are cute and anything. ish? or i just i cant get along with word cute?

oh and i have what u called it tiger teeths in cantonese and they said these are cute too but again i think they will just say mine is another vampire teeths or some carnivols that bite,
my family members saying these are not nice too.

so what?

i having whatever peoples says that are cute but i'm not cute at all.
i'm not trying to show of what god give me but i think i should really go korea *ehem* for a make over.
T_T

fine, maybe time can change my face to a better looking one.

this is what my sis found yesterday and the cafe have just open for one month.
since the service is good the food is good and everything is pretty okay.
i will just try to promote but not alot of people know my blog, so i will just do my best.

folie-folie

chicken salad, for me it's nice.

there are something they wrote on the wall but i cant remember

i think it's just a lil over for supper but i'm enjoying
we have:

chicken salad
grilled garlic chicken chop
tomyam beehon
fish and chip [i dont actually knows the name]
cheese bake black pepper chicken rice

and it's onli 6 of us. okay remind you, it's just supper.

2009-10-09T21:12:00.003+08:00

chooiting's msn personal message. FML, i feel like crying now.

"oi"
"cry apa"
"result out jor le meh"

"no la"
"i'm just hyper with GD"
"lol"

"ceh"

"random jor siu siu hai mei?"
"hahaha"

"hai la"

i'm actually very worry that time but GD success to distract me, lovin" him.

im not suppose blogging right noww, even if i'm blogging i should blog about L.A.N.G.K.A.W.I

yea, this morning okay maybe around 1am that time, ah ma msged me and ask me whether the result is coming out and i'm actually sleeping that time so ignore her, just because that she is asking me something related with RESULT.
sorry i'm not in the "result" is coming out mood

I'M VERY VERY VERY VERY SCARE AND NERVOUS.

but i see peoples are getting very excited, why?
i dont know maybe they are waiting their good result come out and me,
u know, i'm not a good student from the start how i could i end with a good result?

this is very very very depressing, cos i'm really really hopes that they can give me another more days of peace.
but fortunately or unfortunely there are peoples that keep reminding me, yes keep reminding intentionally and unintentionally.

Oh God or whoever there please pray that i will no need to resit for any paper, and i know the chance is like 25%.

but still i hope there will be miracle happened on lee chooi ting. i dont fucking wants to resit for them.

she hate me she hate me she hate me she hate me she hate me and she hate me.

holiday~

2009-09-23T03:33:00.004+08:00

i need to sleep for 24 hours

i wan blog and post pics on fb.

i wan go langkawi

i wan go eat breakfast with my mummy.

i wan watch whatever i want.

i need to do facial or mask or whatever that my face need now.

i need a hair cut or a change in color. back to black

i need to go shop.

i need to buy new pair of shoe

i wan to go pasar malam.

i need a new watch

i was suppose to blog it long time ago, but i'm just too lazy to make it.
so now, this what we did before our sem break and i think my tolerance toward alcohol become weaker and weaker.
AISH, dun ask me why, because i never good at drinking.

Let me do the counting, we werent drinking much tat day,
1, 2 . . . . 5 buckets only
and we have 4persons together.

we were just sohai-ing
since i'm always the one who willing to take the camera out and take pics.

lalala~

i dont really remember his name, what i know is
he is eu yang's friend and he is in foundation year 1 sem 1.

someone was busy sms-ing, so i dont bother to disturb him.

random1.. i'm just too freeeeeee.

L_ove.

future

2009-09-17T21:23:00.004+08:00

my future is in my hands right?
my life should be whatever i like right?
all those uncertainty is me alone to face right?

so i have the right to tell myself i dont like to study right?

the first time tearing because of result
the first time getting all nervous because of result

i know i know, because i'm study last minute.
serve me right
but i did study u know? and what i get all of it?
i dont want to ask about the answer because i'm soooo scare of it.

even i feel like cry my lungs out but still i cant do it.

i know, my parents are worry about me.
i know they dont force me.
but sorry, i really hate it when i see the paper.
i dont want to face it anymoreee. i'm so scare!
what can i do?

no word match my feeling now.

2009-09-16T05:06:00.004+08:00

u can see this is why sometime i dont like blogspot, why they can let me choose to lock specific post?
oh, i change my template again, so u can see it's all mess up now.
but sorry, i have no time to beautify it so bare with me until my exams end.

ARghh. this is not my point for today.

i'm supposedly studying instead, again blogging
i was thinking should i just lock it until i finish my exam so that i wouldn't have to ohm to blog
but i failed to do it.
3more hours will be my first blood for this sem,

i guess alot of u heard this from my mouth

" i'm not going to study in utar if i failed one subject in this sem"

how easy to write or to say, but i'm not dare to take action.

sorry that i cant become like everyone study and study,
sorry to my parents that i'm not hardworking enough
sorry to my brain that i'm not smart enough
sorry that i hate exam to max.
sorry that i cant handle stress smartly

if i can take a decision without thinking of my future i will be doing something more fun now.

as i said, i dun und why i'm getting all nervous like shit when i'm having exam.
seriously i'm telling myself " HEY, get a life!" everytime but i just cant do it.
it's like first time i admitted that i soooo useless.

my brain is not functioning well now, i dont know how am i going to memorise all them later,
i think if i posted my voice i'm able to do it better.

and suddenly i miss my parents, especially my dad.
who tell me "if u dun wan study now, i can help u pack everything home."

I LOVE YOU ,daddy.
i know it's not good but still i really hate study now.

althought i said i hate hate hate for x1000times but still never dare to sleep now even i'm sleepy now.

i'm going to fight for it!!!!!! please, hallelujah or whatever, please, give me the OHM or whatever that can i read and remember immediately.

off too fight econ for the 2 hours later test.

Happy Birthday Andrew Yew

2009-09-02T20:59:00.005+08:00

since i had been so sui lui yesterday.

so i think i as well dedicate a post for you, bro.

this is the 1st time to say happy birthday.
dim? lou jor? XD

u requested a birthday song yesterday and i fail to do it
den i will sing it here la.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ANDREW

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

hoi sam mou?

wish all your dream come true : )

with a family picture XD

2009-09-01T01:50:00.004+08:00

i think i should make a list out:-

i scare that i need to repeat the test

i scare that i cant make it graduate in the time of 3 years

i scare of losing to the other

i dont want to pay for the repeat fees

i dont want to retake mid-term and assesment

i dont want people look down on me

way to solve it:-

pray to god hope that he will bless u

just set a mind that if u are nervous u are not going to do it well so leave it like i dont a give a damn might turn out better because the anxiety gone

run away and stop my study

study harder

anymore suggestion? i think this is most freaking final that i'm scared of!

2009-08-25T00:06:00.009+08:00

i'm not in the right mind nowww.

i get my result for QT and thanks alot
it's stress my out because of the result.

u knoww what? i hate exams!

everyone is telling me that

"it's time to start study"

"final is coming"

"degree isnt that easy compare to foundation"

so thanks for these.

i'm planning in my mind or doing some thinking how am i able to handle this coming finals.

how i wish i'm still in happily-ever-primary school.

where should i start?

and they are everyone and haunting me

damnn IT

2009-08-22T00:39:00.008+08:00

"i'm a good student"

"she says she is anti-social now"
"save her"

went to find adviser last week i remember i told my adviser that i'm a good student.
this few days were a good example.
i wake up in the morning twice : ) like 8 am
thanks to ptptn
it's not easy not easy since i have no more morning class anymore,
you wont expect me to wake up early 8 am and do nothing right?

being normal is really easy but who loves to stay normal?
i'm trying
go class everyday when i can wake up
come back from class, on my laptop wait for the time
cook my own dinner, watch those typical HK drama series.
and wait for time to sleep or maybe yum cha with few friends.

i've keep the same for the whole week

being a normal student who go class and study.

perhaps i'm thinking when i will get bored and burst out something different.

__________________________________♥________________________________

"u all are so childish do u know?"

"she is the one"
"he is the one"

i dont know why the word childish will come out from my mouth.
because i'm known as the childish one.
i'm never good at admitting my own problem that's why i run away every time i'm facing difficulties.
and yet i'm trying to know why they argue and solve it when i know i'm not problem-solver

maybe she is right

"u know what?"

"we always let our ego take over us"

"that's why we always fail to do what we said"

i tried so many times to just put down the ego
and try to listen to my heart

but

sometimes i wonder why her? why her?
it's not like u cannot choose?
why must the one i once told u i dont like?
why must the one i once told u to be careful for?

and i once soften when i heard

"she tried before"

because she did try and i will smile

and it's just make remember something

u have the right to choose who you want to be with and i cant choose for you or change your mind.

the problem is me because i always thought maybe one day we can at least know how to say " hi"

i get emo when it's accidentally hits me, this is pathetic because i cant stop thinking when i'm alone.

emo is for pessimistic person
and i'm not.
that's i will select part that not suppose to think anymore because i always

" think too much"

can anyone teach me how to be not busybody please?

The official ends of story

2009-08-15T16:42:00.006+08:00

time flies and i'm still here.

dont have emo post, dont have any happy-ever post.

which mean my life back to lifeless again,
so yesterday i went jaya jusco and can obviously see effect of H1N1 by seeing how much peoples there.
it's kinda annoying that everyone seems to be so scare of this.
but who dont scare?

i knowwww life is short and i'm 100% guarantee u will regret if u die this second,
no matter how u spend ur life, that will be still not enough.
see? people is greedy so do i

who know maybe not H1N1

maybe u got heart attack when u are clubbing happily in rum.
maybe u chock to the dieth when u are eating to toufu.
maybe u will get into an incident when you are driving 30km/h

and i bet that minute u never know this will going to happen and also the Utar kid.
will u regret for not staying at home with ur family that minute?
will u say i should stay at home and rest instead of waking up and clubbing midnight?
maybe u will say i should just eat abalone instead of toufu if u know u are going to die?

i'm kinda not the same now.
i dont know why, watch tv will makes me cry bleeding will makes me cry and exam will depress me.
which will never happen when i'm in secondary time.
i'm kinda scare of exams until i can feel my hands trembling while i'm in the hall.
this is not a good scene not ever.

i wanna be back the one who says
"mou diu lar"

teach me how? how? how?

oh ya, i went back to school alone last friday.
i skip my class and run back to ipoh at thursday. u know why?
because i miss ipoh, simply yet meaningful.
~~my ph is died now, gonna put on some pictures later.~~

badminton court and canteen

i hates him and he hates me

we were siting together during form3 old days.

seems that peoples are starting to make blog and write about their routine.
and i love it.

so that u can know without asking.
but usually i cant feel what they are feeling inside,
face to face talking is always the best to settle problems.
at least u still get to know what others doing when u are anti-social,

andrew told me to take a few pic of this and i think shud blog it how terrible we were on that day.
and i'm so sure my cholesterol was over limit because we ate more than half dozen of eggs. u will think we go with alot of peoples but no, there are only 3 of us beacause one ffk and the name goes to ng eu yang.

they have no place else to digest the 3 eggs left.

u see these pity prawns? they are all killed by andrew yew and chin jee kent. okay
i admit. i killed one because i dont really eat prawn.

If I could save up my tears, I could create another ocean for the world to reckon with.

sound sweet but pathetic.

2009-08-10T02:39:00.002+08:00

징요오빠 사랑해요

GD has just put one of his new song in his me2day (korean version twitter)

HURRAYYY.

off luh XD