“life will be better in spring”

January 2008 February 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 April 2011 May 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 January 2012 February 2012 May 2012 June 2012 August 2012 November 2012 December 2012 April 2013 May 2013 November 2013

Let's say he don't love you.... what will you become today?
Let's say i'm not raise from here... who am i today?
Let's say our love never stay... who are you for my tomorrow?
Let's say nothing has happened... we will be happier than the past?


if we could change the past and talk about future... we will never be us.
that is why God make us talk about past and change our future.
if i can talk to your heart, i wish i can change you to a better person or a better son or better husband or better daddy.
there are times where i hope i'm given a 3rd party eyes, where i can see how people suffer,endure from their experience to their success, in another word, i'm able to see how people gone through their life- happy and sad!
if i'm allowed to request a gift from God to you, i wish you will be granted a pair of eyes, where you will see how somebody suffer for you and how somebody living happily by stepping you on their foot.
this is the only way, you can fully understand how much hurt and disaster you have cause to people who love you and how much love you've granted to person who used you.

what are you thinking? what were you thinking? what you will be thinking in the future?
i dont hate you, simply because i cant not i dont want.
i wish you are someone i'm proud with, not someone i'm about to look down.
we are patiently waiting until the day reach us like your family member waving happily at airport at the moment they see you come back from another country for decades.
The feeling like you finally united with us.
Love never fade, but feeling does.
we still love you but the feeling you gave sometimes rather more disappointed than motivating.

for this one month, after officially done with my study, i've been camping at home and hospital.
i've been really depressed and cry out myself to release all this tension.
p/s not that my dad is in any serious condition but is problem around me.

i've been trying to watch out on everything within my control.
 for me, you and us.
we are born to seek for live not death.