C h o o i T i n g
you can count on me like 123
i'll be there
and i know when i need you
i can count on you like 432
you'll be there
cos that's what friend suppose to do



do you ever wonder what your life looks like through someone else's eyes?

♥ i hope mine will be a girl who surrounded with happiness in your eyes ♥
-That's me
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Steph
Rui
Ah ma
Carlie
Mibo
Andrew
Fern
Evelyn
Elaine Voon

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things are getting messy and i'm not the state to arrange them in sequence

or

i have no right to arrange them.

i know it was a culture, behavior or a habit of them, being the only one who has been leaving and staying under a different roof. 

i can see there are some different by staying  alone, the most important is - time constraint.

you will never understanding the different if u were always granted with the freedom you want.

i dont expect much tolerance or understanding but at least respect my dream.

i dont care if i will be regret in 5 years or 10 years, but i'm definitely sure i will be regretting it so much when i'm in 40 of my life.

if u have ever pay attention on me, you should  have know i'm never a girl with high intelligence not sure with smart. i dont see my chances on education can over anyone that i know, even there is anyone, that is not the place i'm aiming/ you aiming. i dont know how can double standard happened on both you, but i'm sure i cant achieve on either one of you are thinking.  if you cant obtain the intelligence God gave you, what else will you do to become difference from those who is smart? i just choose the path of walking instead of reading.

Maybe it is too late as i'm already in the stage of finishing my degree which consider higher education level in Malaysia. Now u are trying to say u wanna choose the another path? to be honest, i'm jealous to those who can afford to study oversea, have been thinking why not me when browsing pictures of my friends who studying overseas, enjoying summer break, travelling from one town to another. when come back to reality, i know i dun have the intelligence they have, even if my parents send me, i dont think i'm capable on the education level at there and i might be stressing like shit.


i though i should leave while i'm having less barrier, if i were having an on-process career, how can i leave as i want when my works are leaving undone? shouldnt you grab the chance when you're parents are still young and healthy? do you think they will become healthier when they are getting older?

so i choose the path that it will cause anyone the least problems. In some people's opinions, i might just changing some facts with nonsense, but honestly, how can you say and judge this is not right? are you expecting my parents to bring me go travel or my future husband to be?  i hope anything i'm choosing now, it will lead the least objection from people who i've been seeking for permission and agreement for the most.
I dont want to trouble any of you, friends or family. i know i need them, no matter what. I'm so terrify that i might fail with the life out there, no family, no friends, and nothing familiar with me and yet i'm so eager with it. All i want is you to understand, stepping out from home, state, or own country is not meaning leaving my responsibilities at here.