“life will be better in spring”

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i think i love to blog during exam time.
exam time, midnight, alone, emo me, emo song and that's all i neeed for me to do a post.
easy.
somehow this hour, i wish my phone will ring, my msn will blink
someone will talk to me, i mean human of course.
i heard the wind blowing strongly outside
it's should convince u to sleep but i usually dun sleep at this weather even i'm the one who will always said
"such a nice weather we should just go have a nap first : ) "
but no no, i will always stay up enjoy the weather by just seeing how cold it will be, how sunny it will be, how windy it will be.
weird right? but it's just MY way to enjoy the weather.
this moment i'm thinking cameron, the boh tea garden?
with all the green color tea leaves and white cloud blue sky. *cooling*
to be honest, i'm not very happy these few days,
arguing with him, make me doubt and doubt and doubt,
it's always ring a bell in my mind telling me, i should find a solution for it.
but then, i really dont know how, someone people let me learn about myself that i will never learn from mistakes.
maybe it's true that is why i always stuck at the same problem again and again and again.
then i realize others than him what else make me like u know upset/emo is
i've been nt talking that much anymore, it's like no more the blabbering chooi ting.
not that i dont do it anymore, it's just peoples around dont really let me do it,
whenever i talk, they make me feel like not talking anymore
maybe i'm too boring for them to listen
sometimes, listening can help me alot u know? from everything but you just dont listen.
that's maybe the easiest way for you to do for me but.....
then, it makes me think back the old times,
so simple yet so happy thought some peoples around are just fake, like usual.
but i still get to talk, do things i love to do, talk whatever i like to talk. -without using my brain.
i've tried using ways to communicate with you, i try to let  you know whatever i'm thinking even u dun listen to words i said.
sometimes, i'm just tired of trying.
it's not like i never tell u this blog exist, but... again.
there are disappointment, the good of me will try to cover it for you
the bad one will keep point out all the doubt i've hide.
this is seriously not a post that i want to hide from you, i would like you to read and know what am i thinking
but we know, it's hard, very hard.
even it's just 2 clicks for your browser? ouh, maybe facing the screen hurt your eyes.
*rolled eyes for the nth times*
well, actually i dont consider myself emo now,
more like geram, mad?
erhhh, I DONT KNOWWW *pout*
maybe i'm just trying to say whatever i dint get to say before some people did smtg that shut me up?
aww. idunnowhatamitalkinganymore.

i will try to treat you better, no proceed is bad. sticking at the same thing is bad, so i think that might be the only solution, i know i dont really how to treat ppl nicely so i try! but whatever i try failed means "boom".
it;s either u fixed it with ACTION or we will just let everything back to the starting point.