Time changes everything, even you and I have changed

C h o o i T i n g
you can count on me like 123
i'll be there
and i know when i need you
i can count on you like 432
you'll be there
cos that's what friend suppose to do



do you ever wonder what your life looks like through someone else's eyes?

♥ i hope mine will be a girl who surrounded with happiness in your eyes ♥
-That's me
bolditalicunderlinestrikeout

The rain, the winter spring has made us fade away


I really wonder how you feel on these nights so alone

Steph
Rui
Ah ma
Carlie
Mibo
Andrew
Fern
Evelyn
Elaine Voon



I really wonder how you feel on these nights so alone

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“life will be better in spring”
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rotting
Sunday, May 31, 2009 || 9:43 PM

currently listening 猜不透


猜不透
你最近時好時壞的沈默
我也不想去追問太多
讓試探為彼此的心 上了鎖

猜不透
相處會比分開還寂寞
兩個人都只是得過且過
無法感受每次觸摸 是真的 是熱的

如果忽遠忽近的灑脫
是你要的自由
那我寧願回到一個人生活

如果忽冷忽熱的溫柔
是你的藉口
那我寧願對你從沒認真過

猜不透
相處會比分開還寂寞
兩個人都只是得過且過
無法感受每次觸摸 是真的 是熱的

如果忽遠忽近的灑脫
是你要的自由
那我寧願回到一個人生活

如果忽冷忽熱的溫柔
是你的藉口
那我寧願對你從沒認真過

如果忽遠忽近的灑脫
是你要的自由
那我寧願回到一個人生活

如果忽冷忽熱的溫柔
是你的藉口
那我寧願對你從沒認真過

到底這感覺誰對誰錯
我已不想追究
越是在乎的人越是猜不透



yesterday went to penang but dint get the chance to beach.
i'm very not okay with this cos i had requested to go there
none of them listen to me
fine.
wanna sit ferry but they complaint traffic jam
very not happy

kinda lost control the whole day
i burst out tearing with hugging my pillow while i'm keeping my stuff. ready back for kampar
and yea, i'm listening the same song.




i take back my words that i dont cry always
i'm officially a crying baby now.a lost control one
dont ask me why, because i dont know.
the way of crying is kinda weird
stop.cry.stop.cry.
and i dont even remember how many times i cried
the way it's kinda funny when i think back.thisisrepeatingnonstop

and done wif my crying. i cant find my ph. meaning i lost it.
call and call and call. by that time was already 3am in the morning.
all i can do is call him and ask him to check for me.
luckily, i left it in his car if not i will not come back kampar today

seriously, i dont really wants to come back.
i bet no one really wan to come back with the reason of study.
getting really impatient this few days
cant check my timetable, cant get my id no, cant call utar
the service is really good, terrible good.
so i have to wake up early morning at 8 to check my timetable and everything,
i hate it.


wondering is there any bicycle place for me
wondering is there any sit for me in cafeteria
wondering is there any place for when yum cha section.
i'm quit phobia to a place full wif peoples
kinda scary.

go off now. moodless mode
K-A-M-P-A-R
Saturday, May 30, 2009 || 2:49 AM

currently listening Kiss the Rain

from what i heard
classes will go on till late night
student getting more
this meaning.
we will going be tuna fish in the bus,
no food after class break
no place to sit after class break.
no bicycle park for afternoon students
for sure there will be smtg like wrong arrangement for lecture hall and classroom.
no place yum cha
no place dinner

if u were me?
are u feeling to go back?
but i miss my friends there.

cos ipoh making me feel boring now.









lifeless








havent even know i'm from what group and my timetable already complaining
dont ever expect i will shut my mouth after i know everything.
GODDAMNIT.
same routine
same peoples except new students
same classroom
same building
same situation
kampar, class, kampar, class.
nothing more.

anyone birthday so i can like organized something or whatever..
just let me do something can?

due to my mum carelessness,
i'm stuck at ipoh for my whole holiday
rotting till i can feel mushrooms and spider webs are everywhere.
it's not like i MUST go s'pore,
is just there are much more better than here right?

as i know, there are many pretty girls coming over.
and some already prevent gossip from the first day.
mind you, more news about rape case.
dun get scare. they just dunno kampar is dead scary wif molester or raper or ham sap lou.
maybe i'm a lil bit ulu.

but honestly who will bring along the whole closet and go mamak store??
owh, maybe they just not use wif t-shirt and short pants. *notes the sarcasm*


i wish there will be more eyes candy for girls too.
girls in kampar are getting sexier so do boys need too.
but make sure u are good looking with the sexy look if not,
there will just turns out to be like this.


p/s: no gender discrimination










||||||| 20%









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|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||80%












||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||100%



















not even dare to imagine.
by tat time we might all turn out lesbian.
even they said after u turn off the light u wont see anything but take care.

remind you safety sex is very important for students.
dont remember orgasm only ar, alright?







Tuesday, May 26, 2009 || 12:23 AM

i will never admit that i'm a very good person
in other word, i'm very very very bad.
i dont know how to jokes around i dunno how to entertain my friends.
u can say, i'm lack of some caring in my body, yea, meaning
i'mkindaselfish.,
the very selfish one, i dont love to admit what's wrong inside and also freaking dont like to correct what i am now
i try i try, i try really hard to makes everything into nice good happy or rational instead of "dont give a damn"

i will lie and said "it's okayy i understand" but yet i can feel inside is terrible bad.
maybe u might said i'm some love attention freek but mind you
i scare, scare being abandone and betray by peoples around.
the feeling u have to go through urself and not only by listen.

if u realise, i will always said i miss my old time.
i will never fake it that i'm over with everything.
mind you, i dare to admit my life now isnt fun than my old time,
there are sweet, cute, memorable and etc

honestly speaking
i guess i know where are my weaknesses.
the weakness that nvr change to good one. *sigh*
and i'm always childish, immature inn everything
i will just say sorry to all of you who go through all my "yam sing-ness"
sorry friends.

meihui, sorry that i tell you everything it's okay and i understand.
sorry that i lie to you
this isnt working because it's hurt
u know, right after our conversation, i asked my friend to tell me jokes?
just to not let the feeling go obvious? just to pretend that "it's okay and i und"
i cant lie but you are still my friend.
it's not that i want to make a confession to u
just an apologize. sorry
we are never really BEST FRIEND before
we just used to have each other in one gang
i really dont like you in a part of my memory
and i had said things that not good about u.
i admit that i cant accept the fact u change ur words that fast
i know u are happy wif what u have now and i'm not blamming you, sorry.
maybe u dont even know this existing.
babe, just go over what belongs to you now.


time heal everything.






and and and and







HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEI HUI.

i wish that u can really be a nurse in future.
wish that ur dad will be better
wish that ur annoying roommate and classmate will disappear.

.
holiday
Sunday, May 24, 2009 || 1:56 AM

sooner will post the full update about my holiday
nothing special nothing fun
all i can do are watch movie watch drama on9 pasar malam and yea, knit my cardigan.
that's all for my life now
yea yea yea, boring i knoww but what can i do?
any suggestion?

*sigh*

currently watching this anime, at my house there is nothing more than anime.
so i re-watch this old anime and giggles alone








they are old but cute and nice. i misses my old time.

anyways, i do watch movie meaning i still get the chance to step out from my home.
i'm so happy but not happy.

watched this two

















yea, nice but not that nice. . . . . .



planning to watch them too if i got the chance and time.


Night at the Museum Battle of the Smithsonian



Transformer: Revenge of the Fallen






Harry Potter and Half Blood Prince




go off now to continue watching my cardcaptor sakura.
R.I.D.I.C.U.L.O.U.S
Wednesday, May 20, 2009 || 6:08 PM

i'm suppose to be on the way to s'pore.
so i told sam and evelyn i will going there and plan to hang out wif her since we din see each other long time.
this morning my mum woke me up and said that we are going s'pore tonight,
it's abit rush but still okay for me cos i wanted to go shopping
dont feel like staying at home for the whole holidays
after we took the tickets, my mum said she wanna go saloon so i go wif her
she say her white hairs growing too obvious and she looks old so she dyed her hair.
after that, we went to take our tickets.
9.30 pm bus.
and tat time already 5.30pm
we have to go back and pack everything.
it's like 4 more hours for us,



**rushing**



okayyy pack pack pack, everthing is done
i'm so happy that finally i can go somewhere after kl.
my mum asked me to double check everything
bus ticket and passport
ok lor, mai check lor since my carelessness is famous.
this is a must for me to do.



**check check**


okayy settle.
done.

i think we shud fill in the form, u know the white color form.

"MAAAA, give me ur passport i wann fill in the form"

"why lar now? dont want-lar later fill iin ther car lor"

"dont want ar, hou ma fan lar"

"haiyor, wait lar u"

8.45pm

**filling mine one**

*filling mum one*

arghhh, expired date expired date~

yea, found u.
my mum passport expired date is FEB 2009
ok fill in
FEB 2009. . . . .


den, thinking smtg wrong here

"eh, leng lui this year what year ar and what month?"

"aiyor, u day dream ar. now 2009 may lar"
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"erm, mum do u want to have a look ur passport expired jor lor"

"WHAT LAR, u still dreaming ar? i rmb sept geh"

-keep quite, i know my mum on her way to fat tin.-

"jie, u check again for her"

"LOL, eh serious expired jor"

so at the end, we fail to leave our home.
u know? i'm not those homesick person
so it's very not okay for me to stay at home for 1month.
not fun, not entertaining, not amusing.
my mum keep saying we lied her, she ask everyone to cfm the month
she called the bus ticket seller and everything
she tot maybe can renew the passport or what at johor.
HAHA, she was struggling over the month and year
dont want to accept the fact that she is careless than me this round.
keep saying she wasted her money.

and my dream and my ipod case fly away from me.
: (
i tot wanna go shop 99 GAHHHHHH.
niasing.
what to do
at the end, i'm here.
posting blog instead of shopping at s'pore.


evelyn said i make her heart jump fast and slow in the same minute.
sorry evelyn, i really tot we can meet.
T_T

Tuesday, May 12, 2009 || 2:08 AM

i wonder they feel guity?
i wonder they love me?
i wonder they know they are hurting me?
wondering

currently listening Love Story meet Viva La Vida.

know it from evelyn. not bad not bad but depends on what type music u like.
i'm more like a rubbish bin, i love everything that sound nice.
so at the same time i'm addicted to an old song, " Lemon Tree"
yea, very old but i like it.

"i wonder how i wonder why"

due to my parents over protection and my laziness and also because of i dont have alots of friends.
i almost stay at home everyday for my sem break. My bro and his wife gonna start working on this month. my mum have to take care the baby. so, she has no time to go sg wif me and she wouldn't allow we me to alone.
meaning Singapore shopping time CANCEL. *sigh*
i dont knowww why that they are so protective over me, maybe maybe i'm the youngest but peoples who know me i will follow what u want if u let me do what i want.
no more energy to fight back.
chooiting is lack of energy now :(

i hate livin' under the shade of memory yet i'm still here.
friends? what are they for?
i wonder, it's not like i wan trick them, it's like they show it obviously.
i wonder again. i have to ask someone to cheer me back when i feel like hurting or crying.
so that i will like temporary forget about it,
alcohol heal alots but nope, i'm not alcoholic.
isnt it abit too depending?
*sigh again*


back to my sem break.
i feel like achieving smtg.
something that make me smile.make me laugh.
make it simple
which is smtg entertain me.

i'm planning to diet, yea, again. HAHAHA
cos of those stupid website lar.
here the link.
u can go and have a look they will like show u those awesome clothes and how to match them.
http://www.polyvore.com/

so we have to see, whether i'm going to success this time.
lalalala~
if canot den we just let it go okay?
either one here.
i guess i need to sleep early bit so that i can wake up tmr morning.
wanna go polo ground jog.

I believe every girls love pretty stuff. XD
Monday, May 11, 2009 || 5:23 AM

Libra woman mostly has an egg oval facial shape. She has a nice smooth skin
and a good figure. She will spent so much efforts to keep her skin clean and
pretty. She can be easily allergy to cosmetic and make up, but taken care of
her face and avoid wrinkle is her hobby. She is good at it and tend to look
younger than her age.

She can be very naughty like a little boy, but yet fully 100% woman. She
looks nice in either Jean or night gown. She thinks woman is equal to man.
Sometimes she can think faster than you, but she will not leave you far
behind. She will try not to make you feel like you are competed or defeated
in any games she plays with you even she is winning.

She is a little flirt even she has no idea what she wants. She can not
decide what to do, and what not to do, so she can not set her schedule very
well in all cases.

She is gifted with how to dress, and how to match her dress. She likes to
dress in black and wear perfume. She likes a mild flowery scent.

In any argument, she can really argue. She can argue for hours, and mostly
win the argument. If it is not a serious argument, she could argue and once
a while give you a smile also. She will make a good politician, because she
can tell which party will win the election.

She always has a good reasons ,even she likes to contradict herself. She can
not decide what is right and wrong for her, because everything has a good
side and a bad side. Woman in other Zodiac might not care what other people
think, but Libra woman care what other people ,or what you feel as much as
her own feeling.

She can adjust to her environment very well, so at work she will be at the
ladder up. She likes team work in doing things. If you ask her for help or
advice, she will help you except if she does not like your guts. She can
change you and make you think you change by yourself without her influence.

Good side of being with Libra woman are she never interfere with your
privacy. She will not make you loose face in front of your friends. Even she
cares about how much money she has left his her bank account, she will never
forget to let you know how much she cares for you.

She think taken care of the house is a woman job and she can do it well. But
if you expect a Libra woman to fear you, then you are wrong. She is a strong
woman even she looks at you with that sweet innocent pairs of baby's looks
and may loose you (let you win) in a few poker games.

If she is the one you are after, then go step by step. The best way is using
her friends introducing you to her. Do not make her feel or treat her like a
bubble head. You have to move forward toward her with confident and secure.
Show her that you are a kind , polite and a real gentleman. Be a slow hand
or else you might get smack!

i love reading stuff like this XD

again.
|| 12:32 AM






I
'ts gonna hurt when it heals too











exam over. HURRAYYY
Tuesday, May 5, 2009 || 12:57 PM

today, 4.01pm. my exam finally over.
it took me 2 weeks to suffer the whole thing.
sleepless night, restless night, everything everything.
now i can announced
AKU NG DIU LAR~

miss ipoh, miss pasar malam.
especially my BED.
saranghaeyo.

exam that time hou cham arr.
sometimes when u wanna study u need the mood to come and said "time to study lor"
during the whole 2 weeks this feel is like fighting wif me.
so it's like a little fight inside.
study.notstudy.study.notstudy.
and repeat and repeat
muka currently addicted to facebook punya game.
when u in kampar, entertainment is limited.
LAME. amat LAME.
i knowww. but entertain dou me ar...
it's takes forever to load so at the end i decided to give up.

this few days 8 dou alots of things.
things that i shud not know things that i shud know.
but actually alot of things that i SHUD not know anymore.
and i found out by reading their blogs pages and so on so on.
some of them are having friends problems and family problems.
life is full of
again. what is the feeling being boycott by peoples?
i think and i assume everyone need to try.
that is why
people oways said
"NO GAIN NO PAIN"


pui yean and ah ma said that Utar having smtg like homestay or
u know? go others country and stay at ur so called mummy-daddy house?
and they'll feed u with food teach u the language and give u a room to sleep.
for my mind, i'll with my daddy mummy give me handsome brother.
LOL.
u knoww? after all TVXQ, boys over flower,Big Bang, and etc.
it's helps alot for u to imagine or day dream.
mind you, i'm those typical day dreamer.
i wishh there is a so called korean brother for me.
oh ya, back to the trip.
the main purpose if for us to understand learn the culture of korea.



even it sound a lil boringggg, but u still get the chance to go.
JEALOUS JEALOUS
chooiting is waiting for next year.so i'm asking people around me to save money and go wif me.
remind me of 10years japan trip.
at the end, it's still failed even we promised we must go together once in our life.
pathetic.
never make fairy-tale-kind of promises.


so i'm planning to travel alone if my mum allowww.
the reason i dont want travel alone
1. i scared of ghost.
2. i scared of being alone.
3. i love people share the fun with me so we can gossip about those pretty girls and handsome guys together.
4. my parents will kill me


alone doesnt mean not good jek hor?
i will try my best to avoid ghost, bring alot alot charm and onion
work not?
i duncareeee. i wanna have something newwww.
i will tell my parents i run away wif my imagination bro.
DAMNNN THEM.