“life will be better in spring”

January 2008 February 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 April 2011 May 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 January 2012 February 2012 May 2012 June 2012 August 2012 November 2012 December 2012 April 2013 May 2013 November 2013

today we have a talk with my class mate
honestly speaking, until now, i cant find friends i used to have
the friends that will never stop making me laugh
i misses them alot.
and yet, i dont like this feeling sticking with me.
chooiting is lost that sometimes i dont even know

where am i?
what am i?
who am i?

i have to admit sometime my pride is over taking me.
blame me for stubborn.
i never fails to annoyed people
and i know how irritating i am?

dont mind me.
one of my classmate cried.
i just feel even lost
i feel awkward between all of us
and dunno why i feel so guilty
i know i'm perasan and i'm always like this

i have told myself never never ever being busybody on other people's problem
but i always repeat the same wrong thing
it's like a routine in my life
never stop chooiting for talking

once upon of time, one of my friend told me that my busybody is some kind of caring that very unseen. my caring is abit straight forward that might hurt alot yet it's useful.
until someone said
u are doing too much?

i changed, yet the same?
i guess i have too many faces at the same time and this make me tired.
i'm unpredictable?
i guesss so

sorry for my over-protective on myself.
chooiting is actually weak.
scare of being hurt again.
sometime i wish i can stop breathing for 1hour
so that i can stop thinking

actually i'm starting to mood swing again
and this is getting serious,
i dont have car to let me wash
i dont have oven to let me bake
i dont rain that let me forget

i'm learning to control myself

i try not hate my boring routine but it's not an easy task
i wish

i can really smile like no tomorrow
i can laugh like what other do

chooiting hate seeing people getting emo.
even i always did it, so what?

never say never.

chooiting missing 22 now.
i'm silly enuf