“life will be better in spring”
i'm kinda lost
Tuesday, March 31, 2009 || 3:09 AM
today we have a talk with my class mate
honestly speaking, until now, i cant find friends i used to have
the friends that will never stop making me laugh
i misses them alot.
and yet, i dont like this feeling sticking with me.
chooiting is lost that sometimes i dont even know
where am i?
what am i?
who am i?
i have to admit sometime my pride is over taking me.
blame me for stubborn.
i never fails to annoyed people
and i know how irritating i am?
dont mind me.
one of my classmate cried.
i just feel even lost
i feel awkward between all of us
and dunno why i feel so guilty
i know i'm perasan and i'm always like this
i have told myself never never ever being busybody on other people's problem
but i always repeat the same wrong thing
it's like a routine in my life
never stop chooiting for talking
once upon of time, one of my friend told me that my busybody is some kind of caring that very unseen. my caring is abit straight forward that might hurt alot yet it's useful.
until someone said
u are doing too much?
i changed, yet the same?
i guess i have too many faces at the same time and this make me tired.
i guesss so
sorry for my over-protective on myself.
chooiting is actually weak.
scare of being hurt again.
sometime i wish i can stop breathing for 1hour
so that i can stop thinking
actually i'm starting to mood swing again
and this is getting serious,
i dont have car to let me wash
i dont have oven to let me bake
i dont rain that let me forget
i'm learning to control myself
i try not hate my boring routine but it's not an easy task
i can really smile like no tomorrow
i can laugh like what other do
chooiting hate seeing people getting emo.
even i always did it, so what?
never say never.
chooiting missing 22 now.
i'm silly enuf
happy birthday to the one
Saturday, March 28, 2009 || 9:04 PM
today is steph's birthday and i'm really exhausted
happy brithday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to steph
happy birthday to you.
stay away, stay away from me.
dont ever come again.
promised but karma bitch.
dont need to understand but just listen.
maybe i'm ignoring
maybe i'm lying
maybe i'm stupid
maybe i'm suppose to be
maybe i'm just acting
i din call steph for a happy birthday the whole morning but just now.
i dont want to be party pooper
i just ignore that what is happening on there
ignore and pretend like i dont know and i can dont care
ignore the feeling inside
i know over there they are planning celebrating
i jsut dont want to call
dont want to play hard
i know i can call her and ask her out
i know everything
i just never do that
maybe i'm just not so brave or dare
maybe i just dont want see things go worse
even when i know steph is my FRIEND
even i know she is birthday todayi keep it the last to say happy birthday to her
i keep it the last not to remind her about me.
i keep it hard to pretend that i'm no more VIP between us
i keep it too hard that make me bang bang bang in my heart
i keep it too hard for something no need.
i keep it so hard not to feel bad
chooiting will not cry. promise.
so i dont care what is going on over there
i bake a mini cake or wateva u call it to her
it's just a cake
as a heart for her or wateva
took me 4 hours++ to made it
so no matter what
people must say nice this is actually ice-cream [the 3rd time i made this] i'll still eat if it is not success
maybe i just over estimate myself
i ever tot that i'm not those crying not stop
yea, i can honestly proudly and wateva to say
i'm very easy to start crying but just
i always ignore the tear everytime.
mind you, i'm always
say me bitch.
everytime when i feel like crying
i wish there is someone tell me
it's ok, just dont cry.
i'm trying to force myself not to cry and i did it.
Friday, March 27, 2009 || 1:49 AM
maybe is the fics
maybe is my mind
i think twilight is nicee
scold me for so fans girl
yea, im just so easyHe actually not bad and the girl look familiar
i just watched this wif my house mate and their frens
at 1st i tot this will be any scary or wateva that will gonna freak me out
luckily nothing freak me and overall this is really nice
chooiting love vegetarian vampire because they all full or charisma.
capture very moment that u love and keep it in your memory.because it's always nice to flash back
new club: Bom
Thursday, March 26, 2009 || 1:56 AM
today i'm like a
sohai very-kind-hearted girl
yea, this is what i want to say.
kampar have a new pub according to my frens, that club name BOM
so i follow my frens to celebrate birthday cos i have to wait for the transport.
and i mind you, i dunno them. i mean i just smile and not even a HI
but actually they are all nice peoples
very nice, just that abit awkward jek.
so i tot wat so oh-Bom-u club but actually is
-MINI size SHOP wif
-ALOT of HUMANs
-VERY NOT SO BAD MUSIC
overall is not bad but damn their air-cond.
it is VERY VERY hot. u know?
but wateva since i'm just there for like 15mins or wateva?
and the 1st thing i saw is those so-called-educated person
who also PARTY ANIMALS.
-black color guys
-the nam yan poh aka so called come back from oversea or what-so-eva
-esther wong's sister
-The Rum guy
so story start here
i was so blindly looking for my friend
for ur information arshveen they all are not my friends
so i was looking for Elaine Voon but too bad i cant see her shadow at all
i tot she went back or watever so i asked my friends to go out
who knows? i saw HIM
chooiting: eh, boy where is voon ee lain?
danny: *hug* [i guess he cant hear me]
chooiting: [ewwww] yea, so where is the girl?
danny: long time no see(kinda shouting) how are you
chooiting: i'm okay
chooiting: so where is elaine voon?
danny: inside my car she KO ady.
chooiting: ouh, ok i go look for her
chooiting went look for the drunk girl but shit i forgot what car he is driving now.
so i run back inside and look for dominance and also danny
saw danny *CATCH HIM*
chooiting: i cant see her?
danny: follow me
danny: so how u doing?
danny: where u studying now?
chooiting: [told u we are not even friends, he came kampar so many times and he forgot where i study] ouh, same wif elaine, utar la
reach the car
*saw the drunk girl*
wake her up and yada yada yada
elaine voon: CHHHHHOOOOOOOIIIIIII TTTIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
chooiting: yea, wei girl so fast drunk?
elaine: Let's go in
she sleep at the table.
den arshveen came by and ask
how much u drank?
GOD DAMN IT
chooiting: i just came
arshveen: take her home blabla
face to elaine voon and still drunk
i remember at 1st danny was there but elain said she need cold water so i ask him to get one for her.
and in between i ask him some silly quest
"how u and yijun?"
u know what he answer?
somehow it is nice to see people get drunk
i mean kinda funny
so at the end i just leave her there and go back
u know? Lee Chooi Ting has no transport so i have to follow ah jin
and i feel guilty that just leave her there wif many of SKEBEHs
remind me of yijun and aman.
wait for the pic, i'll try to get it.
OLALA~chooiting miss clubbing but i always know i dont belongs there.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009 || 4:38 PM
the scar will never fully recover.
chooiting eyes are watery now.
so dumbass right?
just wake up and i skip my class again.
because i have nothing better to do i went to my FS
and stupidly view my past.
the past that with her.
the comments from her.
the difference make me suffocating like hell.
no hatred but yet pain.
i actually let go of it.
i just realize i cry alot
more than i expected and i wants.
can life get any worse?
at the end, i still havent watch the last episode yet.
maybe i dont want to watch
maybe i think it's lame
maybe it's too cheesy
maybe too saddening
but also maybe i'm avoiding every chance that make me
i'm not lesbian.
Monday, March 23, 2009 || 2:45 AM
chooiting currently watching i'm sorry but i love you
one last more episode to go.
betting weather i will cry or not.
yea, i'm lame because i have no mood to study.
korean drama is always soo cheesy.
but overall this drama is still ok-lah
but it's kinda boring
i dun und why ppl have to make tragedy?
i suggest he just straight go die or tell his mum his is her son.
not hard right?
eh, i'm ur son. why u abandoned me? and yadayadablablabla.
but story wont be that nice right?
since girl loves to cry, hor?
why girls can be so unpredictable and confusing?
my clothes havent done yet and i'm already half way dying.
this to prove someone that i know how to knit.
and ya, to remind i know how to cook too.
something gonna kills me.
i cut my hair extremely short.
dont blame me for so stupid i just dunno how to decie my hairstyle
so i let the man do it for me
u know? the so called hairstylist who make u think he is so pro
but basically i cannot complain that much because i said " i let u decide, kay? trust u ma"
smtg lidat and my face become bigger
her my previous picture which still long
the short one might take time because. . . .
u know? i still havent get a proper angle yet.
this is lee chooi ting before haircut
still look innocent leh?
i knew it but . . . .
wanna die now.
forget about this
mid term is coming and i havent start study yet.
when i say havent start yet i mean it!
who the hell wanna study? tell me?
and assignment is driving me insane [not that hard to drive me insane]
i duno how to explain it. seriously.
i'm not smart. : )
why do i cry when I say let go?
again, smiling insanely.
life is like a beatiful drama
Tuesday, March 10, 2009 || 1:39 AM
lee chooi ting is so boring now i have to write abit about my life now
i knew tat
copy and paste became one of the things that we will do now?
WHATT? i dun copy others.
but the truth is u dunno when u are doing it?
bluek? no comment
I LOVE to do things that what usual ppl dont do
not like crime or wat
just abit abnormal type
not that i like showing i'm different that others
i jst wanna prove i'm who i am
i guess i'm abit lost bout who am i
TAKE EVERYTHING FROM ME AND SAY GOOD BYE
i dont need that
so that i can have a refresh
to make a new chooiting instead of looking who am i actually
i dun plan to change my course
dun feel like wasting my 250 for thing that uncertainty?
but on what i know
no one is doing this course
when i mean no one it is no girl doing this
i'm weird right?
i know but who cares right?
even i know i might face satu gangster punya guys
ng 7 diu them
i dun wan to know
i dun wan to think
i'm not trying to find what i interest but i trying to do things that gonna challenge me
conclusion is i hate ppl say: do wat u interest and u will enjoy it
"Love is like playing the piano. First you learn the keys, then you learn the rules. Then you leave the rules and play by what's in your heart."
actually love is like ur life and life is like how u love
i have to admit i do learn selfish when things goes not in my way
but i do learn forget instead of hold
and i do learn put down when thing couldnt forget
i do learn smile and laugh for every sec i'm allow to
just because i hate to regret hate to let every sec that i can hold on fly away from me reminisce