C h o o i T i n g

“life will be better in spring”

Monday, January 12, 2009 || 2:56 AM

What is the meaning lifeless hopeless?
i dont know and i dont want to know.
seeing peoples around make me feel strange yet familiar
because we know it used to be
but when you realize everything hiding behind the scene is actually still on drama,
what will you think?
what secret mean by when u telling someone else and ask the person to keep the secret?
is that still a story hide from you because their intention is dont want u to get hurt? like care your feeling soo much and make them feel that is not a right decision to let u know?
i wish there are still someone like that
i dont need to define real and i dont want too
because i'm not and i dont really like people say me that
oh-she-is-a-real-person i feel guilty when people say me like that
i'm not commenting on anyone.
did u ever see a people who praising at a girl and at the another side was cursing her?
i seen alot, i'm emphasizing, ALOT.
maybe because i'm in girl school so those dramatic things will always happened and repeating until now.
i dont mind people being fake but somehow i mind people try to show how real they are when they are not.
get what i mean?
sometimes, i see some who deserve dint get what he deserve for
sometimes, i see some who not deserve get what he dont deserve for
unfair? no, i dont want to complain, fight, against fate.
stupid for not fighting what u deserve?
no, is just another smarter decision.
sometimes i miss my old friends sometimes i wish they will change and will not stay on the secondary look
sometimes i wish they dont change too much until i cant even recognize.
sometimes i love hanging around with new friend but yet i feel strange to them and it make me feel weird, old friends are start from new friends right?
arghhh, i dont know what i'm mumbling now.
so dont mind what i'm talking. i'm syiok sendiri-ing

i smile when i seeing people who really dare on what they do,
not because i feel they are 0h-so-MAN but those who are really brave to dare are always a cons, the fact is they are always put the word brave in their mind and never think of the effect.
and mind you, i'm one of them.
so i do admit i'm stupid enough to tell and i always beautify the word into blur.
smart enough to cover right?
nah, there are two type of people that i always wanted to know more.
one is those who are unlucky enough in the family, love, study or whatever it is.
one is those who are happy-go-lucky on everything.
meisin is belongs to the 1st type.i think la[dont mind me kay?]
i'm mengada-gan.

unlucky one will always things the worst one will happened on him/her
like u fall down today, lost something, argue with ur parent, failed half of the subjects, argue with ur friends and so on so on.
and they will keep complaining, even they tell u they have accepted it but the fact is they dont make you a trouble or they start feeling you are ignoring her/him "unlucky problems". so this will make problems really go worst
dont want caused you a problem-
so they hide they hide they hide and thinks people will not understand cos they never think on other peoples will face [fall down today, lost something, argue with ur parent, failed half of the subject, argue with ur friends] problems too.
in fact they always think why things so unfair, why peoples are so lucky others than him/her.
feeling ignored by frieds-
they try to talk but some oh-she-is-just-so-real in all my friends will smile at u and pretend she/he was listening but in another part of her/his mind thinking why are this person can be this long-winded and thinking how to gossip about you on the others of your friends. so on u found that they weren't listening when u just wanted to find someone to release and not solve your problem but they dont even bother to listen hurt you the most.
this kind of person will feel like lack of love lack of caring lack of luck and so on so on.
they start to be out in group, killing herself, emo alone, mumbling alone, being envy or jealous even there still one or two little ants showing how they care the person.
but ended up with not-the-right-person-she/he-want-the-person-to-careso, the wrong person have to run away crying with handkerchief because push out from the door, and the right person will standing inside and smiling evilly.[ss alone in my own world]
this kind of people sometimes they look pity sometimes they look to deserve it,
it depend on how u judge this case, i will rather to say they always lost their mind
the ways to cure it, just to let her/him realize the world is not going to end yet so means ur "luck" might come one day or it would sound better with "timing"
but sometime i feel they are quite "real" because they are facing the feeling even they dont know or dont want to accept fact they need to wait for the "luck"or"time".

for second type happy-go-luckyhappy-go-lucky are seperated in 2 types.

one is happy-go-lucky with his/her never never get corrupted like those fairytale who waiting for her/his mr/ms charming to come and confess to them.
yea, this is kinda silly by waiting thinking everyone is kind caring and good-hearted since they are born till they die.
yea, and this kind of people somehow will get betray by friends by her/his innocently and naively mind. u will never know she is really choose not to accept the facts or she thinks assuming peoples are always nice make her more happy.
whee, i dont know that bcos my mind was fully corrupted after i'm in primary.
mind me? like u are not? nah, dont lie.
they often get betrayed or bullied or prejudise or sometimes protected cos of their innocent and naive. kinda jealous them who never tired believe and trust peoples without a tiny doubt. why the will ended up protected because they are going to lost in this world, u know the probability even lesser than the chance u got the way to find back dinosour. sometimes. sarcasticly.
the righ one will oways think they are special and feels to protect them.
yea, they are seriously need protect to avoid from getting hurt more and more.
pitiness to them in my opinion.

another one is oh-i'm-happy-go-lucky type, they try their best to put the best part into her/his face which make her look always cheerful but deep in heart she is actually not, she might counting on what this person is or whatever fuck shit things in the person mind.
nah. hiding the real face acting happy even it's not. this kind of people need pitiness more than the 1st type one.
they never think peoples are kind or maybe they belief there is one two exsist in the world but she/he think that they will never meet this only good person in the world.
pity not? i think yes. she/he is actually counting everything but this is really very tiring but when u doing the same things everyday u will never realize u actually feel tired on the process. this is kinda like u dont even understand what ur mind wants and what body wants. corrupted not? i dont know.

i know not EVERYONE has to be in of them, but sometime i did feel there are some people like that. sarcasm to you? i dont feel so.
i dunno which type i belongs to. i dont actually feel that i'm happy-go-lucky but people thinks i am, the 2nd 1st type? no again, MY MIND WAS CORRUPTED SINCE I'M BABY.
LOL. and i do always think people are bad and same like me
oh-i'm-happy-go-lucky?no, i speak when i dont like,so slap me whenever i say anything to kena you but mind you if u try it i will sue u 99 till i bankrupt. i know i watch to much drama like moonlight resonance. i never want get slap too. so deal with me.

so am i the unlucky one? never never to be.sometime i think my family and friends do love me more than i can effort at the same time i feel guilt to them. i forever dont know how to appreciate people love and care but i do learning.
i guess i'm not in of them
who u think u belongs to, like me right? never in one them
HAHAH.
so cont to let me meangada in my blog.
bubyyeeeeee