C h o o i T i n g

“life will be better in spring”

somehow, it's like fated

Tuesday, December 9, 2008 || 2:38 PM

yeahh, i get the way to post at uni. tell u it was not fun when at 1st i'm typing this on MICROSOFT WORD.
today things make me wanna fuck around like yesterday. damn bitchy virus who take away everything in phone.
cant blame me for upset and fucking around this two days i just ehem.
another way or the only way for me to release, even though know people is getting mad on me but just let me please,kay?
thanks for understanding.
currently addicted to big bang's member who are jiyoung aka gdragon and seung ri aka riri as well as Top the big boy. wateva the name is i still like the real name yea, meaning like chooiting is still chooiting don't sound it in CHUIIII TING i mean mandarin.
ish, i really really hate it! i'm not like aunty in the pasar who make u call ah sau ah sau lidat. so make sure call me back in the English way or u want me to say it in malay it's ok just not MANDARIN NOR CANTONESE.
yea, when i fucking around in the lab with the words! the tutor come in and give us back the web page marks, i can tell u it's OMFG.
but u know right WHO GIVE A DAMN TO THIS STUPID HARD TEST.
i mean i know some will and i know i will just when before i get back the marks.
as in i'm so naive right i should cry around and blame for me test marks but come on that's not me even i feel so when after i took my practical but i wont to so.
just it's a LAME excuse for me.
and wanna say that what i have said doesn't mean that i really wanna fuck around wif u guys because what i say doesn't mean it so just let me wateva for this few days,kay?
BLA. wateva-la!
and yes when u are dying for not enough sleep somehow there will many bitches come along disturb u. today a very annoying lecturer and i dont actually und how she can be a lecturer when she is so lack of confidence when speaking. she called me to come out to give and explanation on what i und toward PLANNING AND BUDGETING.
i'm ready to has my snap and she ask me to explain-leh?
i am normal to get mad okay?
so again dont blame me. i just give another wateva answer to her like i'm just soso wif her ONLY.
but the most i like is when i when back i said FUCK YOU BITCH silently but guess others than her all in front me could see it. I like it. yea, admit i have the ego so what? are u going to kill me? peoples do have ego just mine goes a little bit more.
WATEVA-LAR again.
actually i wanted to give a long post for this time cos i feel happy when i see my post is long.
i found out i cant write it back like how i write in on this morning at lab.
but i hope i can write it ALL OUT from what i remember.
I'm sick again not those fever flu or wateva.
it's the time for me to say cry again.
actually i don't really like it when I'm like this but i cant control it so for the god sake just give me a good timing to CRY.
last time when I'm like that i will tell yijun that I'm FEEL like crying and i cant remember she gave me.
and i told me mum she just probably ignore me again.
i really dunno why getting this kind of stupid sick which is so ABNORMAL.
my changing not something really good for me, yea, i feel so.
cos I'm like being strange to myself like i dont who am i now.
sound like those lost child who wanna go suicide. ey, I'm NOT THAT NEGATIVE WHO IS GOING TO SUICIDE. so don't worry.
just feel like like i don't like when this all come along.
being strange to yourself not really good i can sure!
and now I'm hurting myself by not sleeping. i don't mind that i purposely not to go sleep but sometimes just cant.
i don't know why.
last time i use to hurt myself by using blade or wateva when argue with my mum but forgive me for that annoying i don really mean to die that time and so now.
I'm bad on release i think.
and i feel I'm getting worse now.
isn't it hurt more cos i know it's really unhealthy.
agree?agree not?
for god sake i just being like that for dont know how many times?
sometimes i only desperate one who really can read my mind when i dont need to say anything or giving any big reaction for her/him*
somewhere like mind reader of mine.
but god when u are going to give me this.
for mentioning god for times not because i really beliefs on him.
JUST THAT I NEED SOMEONE TO LET HOPE ON.hahahhahaha
WATEVA IT IS.
JUST LISTEN. laugh out loudly again. sorry fo my ss-ness.
lalalala.
isn't this is my style for being so weird? i dont really know
WHO'S CARE RIGHT???

and yes, i wanna upload a picture i took on morning.
a really look like fakes one.

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11 December 2008

3.28 a.m

i know i should starting with my assignment but again my tired to go there and touch my books.
i'm like totally lost control on my emotional.
kent said till that he really understand me.
by judging me how i speak normal days.
just he dont know that i keep silent tat time ijus because i really lazy to fight back of what he said.
lost control.
because tear behind my eyes smtg wrong again.
dont blame me for crying around like those bitches who ask for pity.
i get myself not cry just now.
so cheer me.
i try to think, think whatever it is sad or happy that can make a decision for my mind.
somehow i dont mind crying everywhere just i dont manage to cry nor smile truly just now.
i try to think on whatever that can my mind to cry or laugh seriously.
by think someone oways the good button den think of smtg fun that make me laugh.
butt, i dont get the way to it.
i gonna to be the way that make people even hard to understand me cos i dun even understand myself.
like SO STUPID
serious, i dont really act like that last time even when my this abnormal sick was here all the way.
i dont know or i dont care that people understand me anot. i wish yes.
but know i'm like going crazy how i act like.