“life will be better in spring”

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i tot someone told me libraian are special cos they will oni cry when they want or they cry is juz wanna to shoe the art!!
but finally i get it wrong cos when i wanna show my tears i will remind myself my tears are priceless dun cry it without reason... ' cos usually i will say ''long time no cry so feel like crying'''... those nonsense bu when everytime i wanna to cry i cant cry out and now when i dun wana to cry tears wil run out ok? juz let to show out but another time i found tat i cant control them.. u noe wy?
i und while u nid to take care the family for every morning is relly hard...
but sometimes they have their own problem
i duno really noe wat i wanna to say but juz wanna to release my feeling my depression
cos even i wan to slp i cant sleep anymore
i wish tears come out is wanna to end up smtg but not to start something bad..
so tears can wash away things tat u dun wan.. and when the time u cry u wanna forget i wish i could do tat but i wish too tat i stay here is smtg right i dun mean to mean but just mean to be ntg now!! ppl who get alot who get too much will oways get back smtg lidat maybe this is why ppl say tat i have changed!!
and.. argue for many times ady but i still feel hurting ... like sakai lidat... i dun wan to be to grey to see the world but atleast u nid to let me re;ease!! chooiting* rules